Fuck or Marry?

I had an interesting conversation with a colleague today and she said to me "there are some men you fuck and some men you marry - it's a simple as that." Her comment took me by surprise as she sat there 8 months pregnant, blooming and glowing and the irony of her statement hung in the air, like the elephant in the room, the comment not her I hasten to add! She said quite blatantly men adopt this theory...women that are shaggable and women that are marriage material and why in hell shouldn't we do the same.

It got me thinking though...my ex husband was definitely in the "fuck" category and I obviously made the mistake and married him as well! The boyfriend before him, who I was engaged to, so I nearly nailed it, was cetainly of the men you marry camp. But why do women have to settle for the more sensible, stable, solvent man as our "happy ever after" and leave the white knuckle ride of your life in the fantasy bank? Maybe I'm better off staying single? She seemed so sure of her theory, that there are the men you want to fuck and the men you should marry and it's as cut and dry as that, that I had to explore this concept.

She told me her husband is not her normal type of man...shorter, less handsome, more laid back and socially well rounded but never going to set the room alight with charisma or charm, and very unemotional. But practical, reliable and her best friend.

Now my parents have been together for over 40 years, they met on a factory floor in 1962 and my mother says she saw my father and it was a thunderbolt moment. He says the same. Four children later, four grandchildren later than that and hey many bumps in the long road along the way, they are still really in love. I guess I aspire to that thunderbolt, fairytale, besotted, intoxicating, overwhelming, all consuming desire, lust, love, laughter with your soul mate? Isn't that the REAL DEAL? It's funny this internet dating because it encourages one to categorise, tick boxes...smoker/non smoker...joker...non joker...drinker...non drinker...thinker..non thinker...fitty? fatty? divorced? debauched? rich man..poor man...beggar man..thief? I mean what is the answer...how do I find Mr Right? Can he be found on a questionnaire? What ever happened to eyes meeting across a crowded room and BANG! Falling head first into Hook, line and sinker love? Romantism...passion...excitement...anticipation...and the longing and the connection...togetherness...soulmate. You know the thing, some people say they just knew the second they met their partner. Others are growers...at first meeting there can be a total dislike or perhaps indifference and then slowly potential peeps over the fence and says he's a Mr Maybe! The romantic in me really hopes and dreams for the thunderbolt but as the dates continue maybe I need to listen to the very pregnant and very fabulous friend who has it sussed...and I need to determine which of men I date are the fuck and run and more importantly which ones I am supposed to marry...still searching and under a new category called BORING BLOKE!!!