Mr CerealMan

48 year old; self employed businessman; 6ft; dark short hair, few extra pounds; glasses; average looking with an intellectual edge potentially; never drinks; non smoker.

Mr CerealMan's Profile
If you know what you want contact me, if you don't, don't.
If you DO NOT have a picture on here, a sense of humour or you are here to play games hit the back button now! Remember ladies always read the entire label before discarding. Whilst the manufacturer's try to ensure this model reaches you in perfect condition, no responsibility can be taken for blemishes, faults, scratches etc once the goods have been taken home & removed from their packaging. It is therefore vital to observe the goods thoroughly prior to purchase. Only try this product if, you are single & want to be wanted. It has been known that this particular brand may cause laughter & cheerfulness in extreme cases could instigate love & affection, these are perfectly normal symptoms and should not discourage you from treatment. Storage: this product takes care of its own storage; however shared storage can be more enjoyable. What to do if you feel unwell: consider communication & trust. Dietary advice: This product reacts well to Indian, Thai, Italian, French, Chinese & English foods. Miscellaneous information: In most cases this product works well when treated with respect and is quite happy in a retail environment it is also suited to cinema, dance floors (frequently) theatres, pubs, restaurants, it may also may be taken with wine and a DVD in a domestic situation. This product enjoys motor transport with emphasis on vehicles manufactured at the factory in Crewe. If you wish for further information regarding this product then please reply to the customer service's dep't. Who will endeavor to deal with your request at their earliest convenience, recent photographic evidence would be appreciated when accompanying your request. Please note: The manufacturers must stress that this product does not play mind games. If this is your intention please go to the local park & play with other manufacturers balls! BTW - if you don't like being contacted by older guys, why not put an age limit?

Mr CerealMan's email
So if I paddle upstream on my tandem, will you be my pillion? xx
My Response
Hey CerealMan Are you snap, crackle and pop or do you turn the milk brown?!!Or are you simply...gggrrreeeeaaaat! Pillion indeed...although sometimes I like to be in control of the destination and certainly the journey so I will...if you will. Next question?
Mr CerealMan
..... your phone number please? OK I'm straight to the point, if we met in a bar or at the freezer counter in Tesco's would we write notes or actually talk?? x PS & simply...gggrrreeeeaaaat!

The Telephone Call
Mr CerealMan calls me. Leaves an upbeat message. He sounds totally different, in a good way, to what I was expecting. What was I expecting? Hey after all these dates, I always expect the unexpected. I don't know an arrogant perv...a dull desperado...a proposition...a genuine Geezer? I do the polite thang and call him back. I'm in a field and he it turns out is on a farm. 46 minutes later we're still talking. He's frank (not by name, but by nature) open, honest (it seems), he has a nice voice I find myself thinking, it doesn't fit his photo tho. Anyhoo...46 minutes later I've learnt this:-
1. He isn't 48 - he's 53 yrs old and for reasons I've heard before from other 50+ internet dating demographics they fear the fall out from the loop from many search criteria seeking sub fifty fillies. I now wonder how many 38-39 somethings I've dated who are more likely to be in their early 40's and so on with the 48-49 year olds...actually what difference does it make...it's not about age...it's about connection..the exception to this rule lies in Mr Posh Pensioner's post!

2. Voice is very important. Think Alan Carr...think Sean Connery...think Mariella Frostrup...think Cheryl Cole...think David Beckham...Mr CerealMan has a great voice.

3. A flowing or in this case an over-flowing conversation is positive potential for a great date. Mr CerealMan and me have covered a myriad of subjects...his marriage and mine...his sons...his dating experiences...his jiving abilities...his Bentley (racing green...cream leather interior)...his ex-girlfriend's alcoholism...his ability to put away alot of gin every now and again, how the main thing he misses is waking up with a woman and making her a cup of tea and the idle chit chat that starts your day when you're in coupledom.

4. Mr Cerealman has a dog called "Barking!"

5. Mr CerealMan is intriguing. Interesting.

The Date
Lunch. As I am walking towards what seems to be Mr CerealMan I notice two things...he is wearing cream chinos with a tie and he looks different from his photos, in a bad way! Older, fatter, stranger! We greet...he looks enthused and I try to hide my disappointment - I do not fancy this guy, I don't want to rip his clothes off and my theory that a great voice correlates with a positive date is horse shit! At the same time, I don't want to hurt his feelings. So we grab a table outside, I am babbling to hide my anxiety. I don't really want a drink, I just want to go home. Luckily the place is empty, as we look a total mismatch. He tells me that my photos don't do me justice and I look even better in the flesh! I thank him, feeling quite uncomfortable as I cannot return the compliment. He isvery tactile, and kisses my hand which makes me squirm. He has massive, slightly scarred hands, he works in agriculture, his nails are chewed and dirty. Normally I love a guy with big, manly hands, make that, veiny manly hands, oh yes, they do it for me, but not these ones! Big veiny man hands give me the horn, actually so do manly arms and back as well. So back to the fashion statement...cream chinos...blue shirt...pink tie and a black holdall, worn over the shoulder, he looks like a ticket collector. He says "ask me anything!" I really am unusually lost for words, as I have nothing further to enquire about or clarify. We make small talk, I crack a few jokes, he touches my arm, hand, knee and then gets up and grips me in a bear hug telling me he's awfully tactile, he is tactile and it is awful! I make my excuses and pop to the ladies...in the mirror I am asking myself "how the feck am I going to get out of here asap!" as I walk back outside towards, Mr CerealMan has a camcorder and he is filming me!!! I raise my handbag over my face and ask him what he is doing...how weird is this? I ask him why he has brought his camcorder to our first date. And then he freaks me out. He says he messed alot of moments and memories up in his life, and he wanted to record our date, as, if his intuition is right, and he thinks we will be living together by Christmas, he wants a record of our first meeting. I am now quite concerned as this guy is not joking around. I tell him I'm finding his behaviour rather strange and it's making me uncomfortable. He says he's sorry and goes in to pay for the drinks. At this point I feel no remorse for getting up and high tailing it out of there and heading home. As I'm walking away, Mr CerealMan catches up with me with a Sainsburys carrier bag...I tell him he's freaked me out with the filming and I'm going home. He hands me the carrier bag and in it is a BLUE delphinium plant and 2 tiny BLUE pot plants. I feel bad. I say I can't accept them. He insists. As I head home clutching my shopping bag with the blue flowers peering out over the handles, I think how vital it is to meet up with your date...as positive and funny emails, texts, lengthtly phone calls, even web cam convos are not foreplay to mind blowing date experience and what's more my profile is not looking for Jeremy Beadle and this is not candid camera, £250 or otherwise and for that reason, I am still searching...and for someone sane!!!