33 years old; single; mechanic; common sense above intellect; rough and ready; cheeky character; practical; possibly one of the lads
The Date
Drink in a beer garden. Mr Tourettes arrives straight from work. He has boy-ish good looks, is physically fit and quite muscular looking. He is wearing overalls and has very oily and dirty hands I notice and a baseball cap, bad hair day I ponder? Let's just say Mr Tourettes is not one who dresses to impress me thinks! So he gets himself a pint, offers me the same, I politely decline and go for a soft drink (Do I look like a pint drinker, I think not!) Conversation does not flow. We don't have much in common, unless of course if I want to talk car engines or how many pints of lager him and his mates managed to stack away last weekend before vomiting and then starting again! However, there is something that suddenly dawns on me, he just does not stop swearing. I mean it is incessant! Every bloody, sodding, frigging, freaking, f**king, sh**ting, sentence is filled with expletives! Now I'm no prude and believe you me I can swear with the best of them, but listening to Mr Tourettes and his poor use of the English and bad language is just mind numbing. Oh boy I so wish I'd brought along my swear box...I could retire on this date alone. So in order to make myself very clear to Mr Tourettes and mirror his style of communication I tell him I've just had unexpected f**king text message, from my bloody Bit** of a friend, whose wan**r of a boyfriend, the Bas***d has upset her, the Ars***le and I need to offer her my comfort and advice in her hour of need. Nice meeting you DICKHEAD! Still searching....
Tuesday, 30 June 2009
Monday, 29 June 2009
Bad Dates
I can't go on anymore bad dates. I would rather be home alone than out with some guy who sells socks on the internet...(Cynthia Nixon)
Mr Arrangement
46 years old; MARRIED man; seeking a discreet sexy affair aka arrangement; wife, couple of kids; successful entrepreneur; black porsche turbo; private number plate (should read DICK!); no photo for obvious reasons and some!
Mr Arrangement's Profile
Describing Myself: I am an intelligent, outward going, with straw blonde hair /blue eyes and 6' tall firstly please excuse me if I make a hash of this. I love going to the movies, restaurants, pubs, but also like to stay in and cook a nice meal along with a good bottle of wine and chill. In the Summer I love a long glass of Pimms on a warm evening whilst out with friends Hit all my goals in life now looking for a sexy discreet affair. I enjoy sports playing, travel, good food in hot places. The type of person I am looking for should be able to hold good conversation on most subjects and be good fun to be with I am looking for my lover and best friend. I want to find someone who is compatible, wants what I want and has the energy, attitude and zest for life that I do.
The Date
I was rather taken a back by Mr Arrangement's email communication with me. He loved my profile and pictures and felt so sure I was the ideal candidate for his little arrangement that he is so desperately seeking. He is married and has a family but is missing that certain excitement in his life. His profile claims that he has "met all his life goals". I informed him in no uncertain terms that he was in a mid life crisis and should work on his marriage and that I for one was not that kind of girl. Or am I? I suddenly thought...all in the name of research. He made it quite clear he will never leave his wife of 17 years and claimed to have never been unfaithful until now. He has made the decision to have an affair, well an arrangement, as he likes to call it, with someone who sparks his interest both in and out of the bedroom. I ask him to elaborate Mr Arrangement bluntly explains that he is looking for someone to meet for lunches and spend a few hours in bed passionately making love in the afternoons (yuk...cringe...!) Mmm....I tell him he seems so sure of what he wants and his demands so what's in it for me? A corporate pen and T' shirt? Theatre tickets? Envelope of cash? Where's the mutual benefit I'm thinking? I also inform him that there a plenty of avenues for this type of arrangement that he could explore...prostitutes...escorts...oh no Mr Arrangement couldn't possibly do that he tells me - he needs more...he couldn't just hop into bed with someone he has no connection with. He wants more from his mistress...conversation and compatibility! Mmm...I'm sure he does. So reluctantly I agree to meet him for lunch. I arrive to find Mr Arrangement sat on the bonnet of his Turbo...oh par-lease...this is going to be horrendous! He is, I have to say, ugly, now I like to see the best in everyone but this guy is not a looker! I sense ugly on the inside, ugly on the outside. He is follicley challenged and is the wrong side of athletic and pretty pathetic, grinning like a cheshire cat at me from behind his ridiculous over-sized Rayburns, swaggering over his porsche and jangling his money in his over sized trouser pockets...as I saunter towards him, my butt cheeks clenched, Mr Arrangement whips off his shades and literally undresses me, dribbling at me from head to toe. I now recognise this is a dire scenario that I now need a swift exit from...we walk into the pub and I escape to the ladies to gain composure. And as I catch a glimpse of Mr Arrangement waddling off to the bar smug and arrogant and very married, I think you know what I've seen and heard enough. And you know something as I scarper past the shiny Porsche and away from Mr Arrangement I feel a sense of relief that he's not my husband...or my dad...or my anything...and as I send him a text message to say "Sorry but I know instantly if something will work and this won't" I feel an overwhelming comfort in being single and an even more overwhelming sense of relief that I will never allow myself to be that desperate that I would have to consider any sort of arrangement with a man. Still searching and more carefully than ever...
Mr Arrangement's Profile
Describing Myself: I am an intelligent, outward going, with straw blonde hair /blue eyes and 6' tall firstly please excuse me if I make a hash of this. I love going to the movies, restaurants, pubs, but also like to stay in and cook a nice meal along with a good bottle of wine and chill. In the Summer I love a long glass of Pimms on a warm evening whilst out with friends Hit all my goals in life now looking for a sexy discreet affair. I enjoy sports playing, travel, good food in hot places. The type of person I am looking for should be able to hold good conversation on most subjects and be good fun to be with I am looking for my lover and best friend. I want to find someone who is compatible, wants what I want and has the energy, attitude and zest for life that I do.
The Date
I was rather taken a back by Mr Arrangement's email communication with me. He loved my profile and pictures and felt so sure I was the ideal candidate for his little arrangement that he is so desperately seeking. He is married and has a family but is missing that certain excitement in his life. His profile claims that he has "met all his life goals". I informed him in no uncertain terms that he was in a mid life crisis and should work on his marriage and that I for one was not that kind of girl. Or am I? I suddenly thought...all in the name of research. He made it quite clear he will never leave his wife of 17 years and claimed to have never been unfaithful until now. He has made the decision to have an affair, well an arrangement, as he likes to call it, with someone who sparks his interest both in and out of the bedroom. I ask him to elaborate Mr Arrangement bluntly explains that he is looking for someone to meet for lunches and spend a few hours in bed passionately making love in the afternoons (yuk...cringe...!) Mmm....I tell him he seems so sure of what he wants and his demands so what's in it for me? A corporate pen and T' shirt? Theatre tickets? Envelope of cash? Where's the mutual benefit I'm thinking? I also inform him that there a plenty of avenues for this type of arrangement that he could explore...prostitutes...escorts...oh no Mr Arrangement couldn't possibly do that he tells me - he needs more...he couldn't just hop into bed with someone he has no connection with. He wants more from his mistress...conversation and compatibility! Mmm...I'm sure he does. So reluctantly I agree to meet him for lunch. I arrive to find Mr Arrangement sat on the bonnet of his Turbo...oh par-lease...this is going to be horrendous! He is, I have to say, ugly, now I like to see the best in everyone but this guy is not a looker! I sense ugly on the inside, ugly on the outside. He is follicley challenged and is the wrong side of athletic and pretty pathetic, grinning like a cheshire cat at me from behind his ridiculous over-sized Rayburns, swaggering over his porsche and jangling his money in his over sized trouser pockets...as I saunter towards him, my butt cheeks clenched, Mr Arrangement whips off his shades and literally undresses me, dribbling at me from head to toe. I now recognise this is a dire scenario that I now need a swift exit from...we walk into the pub and I escape to the ladies to gain composure. And as I catch a glimpse of Mr Arrangement waddling off to the bar smug and arrogant and very married, I think you know what I've seen and heard enough. And you know something as I scarper past the shiny Porsche and away from Mr Arrangement I feel a sense of relief that he's not my husband...or my dad...or my anything...and as I send him a text message to say "Sorry but I know instantly if something will work and this won't" I feel an overwhelming comfort in being single and an even more overwhelming sense of relief that I will never allow myself to be that desperate that I would have to consider any sort of arrangement with a man. Still searching and more carefully than ever...
Mr Breakfast Radio DJ
35 years old; divorced; breakfast radio DJ; struggling with new found singledom and in need of friends and maybe more; thinks he's funny; enthusiastic beyond normality; cheesy with extra cheddar! Does he have just a face for radio, one ponders ahead of the date. Photos on profile are of Mr Breakfast Radio DJ in action behind the mic in the am!!! Since initial contact from him, he has inundated me with texts, pictures of him at work and one liners and jokes...and constantly requested me to send him more photos, a request I have ignored! I may need sedating to get through this one!
The Date
Coffee. Mr Breakfast Radio DJ has a tendency to text me at the very anti-social hour of 5:30am! Er hello?...He does open his text with a "apol" for the early message but still feels compelled to act as my new found alarm clock! You know the sort...yes that's right, the one you hit snooze on several times before throwing it across the bedroom, preferably hitting the wall and smashing it into many little pieces...that's how I already feel about Mr BRDJ! So back to the date. We meet outside a coffee shop. Mr BRDJ looks very excitable, he grinning, well almost gurning at me. He's taller and lankier than his picture portrayed. He looks pretty tired as well...oh and yes he's kitted out in his corporate radio merchandise....he's a walkiong advert for his local radio station! Then he starts, he's obviously been prepping for out little rendezvous because anyone would think we're live on air, as he bamboozles me with a tirade of jokes, quips, and re-counts radio interviews he's been involved in. Each time I try to intercede with some of my contribution to this one way steam train conversation from Mr BRDJ, he astounds me by saying "hold the line caller" he is telling me to hold the line!!! OH MY Goodness this guy is deluded...demented...he is in a constant world of radio jargon..jingles...dubbing...donut...fader....mixer...promo....sweeper...
splice....and then just when I think this date can't get much worse...he comes out with the following...."Don't think I'm looking for a jump...just cos I'm on the radio! I mean I wouldn't say no but I would quite like to find a someone special." At that point...it was time to get the bill and go our very separate ways. However, I couldn't help but tell him I had rush home as I was big fan of radio 2 and Chris Evans the genius radio DJ guru was on shortly....let's just say we were on VERY different wavelengths...still searching....
The Date
Coffee. Mr Breakfast Radio DJ has a tendency to text me at the very anti-social hour of 5:30am! Er hello?...He does open his text with a "apol" for the early message but still feels compelled to act as my new found alarm clock! You know the sort...yes that's right, the one you hit snooze on several times before throwing it across the bedroom, preferably hitting the wall and smashing it into many little pieces...that's how I already feel about Mr BRDJ! So back to the date. We meet outside a coffee shop. Mr BRDJ looks very excitable, he grinning, well almost gurning at me. He's taller and lankier than his picture portrayed. He looks pretty tired as well...oh and yes he's kitted out in his corporate radio merchandise....he's a walkiong advert for his local radio station! Then he starts, he's obviously been prepping for out little rendezvous because anyone would think we're live on air, as he bamboozles me with a tirade of jokes, quips, and re-counts radio interviews he's been involved in. Each time I try to intercede with some of my contribution to this one way steam train conversation from Mr BRDJ, he astounds me by saying "hold the line caller" he is telling me to hold the line!!! OH MY Goodness this guy is deluded...demented...he is in a constant world of radio jargon..jingles...dubbing...donut...fader....mixer...promo....sweeper...
splice....and then just when I think this date can't get much worse...he comes out with the following...."Don't think I'm looking for a jump...just cos I'm on the radio! I mean I wouldn't say no but I would quite like to find a someone special." At that point...it was time to get the bill and go our very separate ways. However, I couldn't help but tell him I had rush home as I was big fan of radio 2 and Chris Evans the genius radio DJ guru was on shortly....let's just say we were on VERY different wavelengths...still searching....
Tuesday, 23 June 2009
Male Profiles
What they should tell you...
Hi all. I'm really happy and content. What I really like about single life is being able to rotate the tv 180 degrees and lie sobbing watching eastenders in shattered lonervision, preferably whilst drinking gin, and listening to 'Unbreak my Heart' by Toni Braxton.
So more about me, well I am a mountain, I am a tall tree, Ohhh, I am a swift wind, Sweepin' the country, I am a river, Down in the valley, Ohhh, I am a vision, And I can see clearly, If anybody asks u who I am Just stand up tall look 'em in the Face and say I'm that star up in the sky, I'm that mountain peak up high, Hey, I made it, I'm the worlds greatest, And I'm that little bit of hope, When my backs against the ropes, I can feel it mmm I'm the worlds greatest.
I am a giant, I am an eagle, I am a lion, Down in the jungle, I am a marchin' band, I am the people, I am a helpin' hand, And I am a hero. In the ring of life I'll reign love, And the world will notice a king, When all is darkest, I'll shine a light, And use a success you'll find in me.
I'm looking for a women, preferably like the princess Jodie Marsh, I think she is really classy, and if I could find anyone as charming and natural looking as her then I would be really happy.
At the moment I’m looking for a job, once the electronic tag has been removed that should help. In the meantime I’m looking into doing a spot of pyramid selling. My favourite musician is the great Dane Bowers, his soulful music transcends space and time and you would be out of your mind not to appreciate it. Celine Dion is also a hero. Favourite actor would have to be Stephen Segal, esp in Under Siege 2.
Hi all. I'm really happy and content. What I really like about single life is being able to rotate the tv 180 degrees and lie sobbing watching eastenders in shattered lonervision, preferably whilst drinking gin, and listening to 'Unbreak my Heart' by Toni Braxton.
So more about me, well I am a mountain, I am a tall tree, Ohhh, I am a swift wind, Sweepin' the country, I am a river, Down in the valley, Ohhh, I am a vision, And I can see clearly, If anybody asks u who I am Just stand up tall look 'em in the Face and say I'm that star up in the sky, I'm that mountain peak up high, Hey, I made it, I'm the worlds greatest, And I'm that little bit of hope, When my backs against the ropes, I can feel it mmm I'm the worlds greatest.
I am a giant, I am an eagle, I am a lion, Down in the jungle, I am a marchin' band, I am the people, I am a helpin' hand, And I am a hero. In the ring of life I'll reign love, And the world will notice a king, When all is darkest, I'll shine a light, And use a success you'll find in me.
I'm looking for a women, preferably like the princess Jodie Marsh, I think she is really classy, and if I could find anyone as charming and natural looking as her then I would be really happy.
At the moment I’m looking for a job, once the electronic tag has been removed that should help. In the meantime I’m looking into doing a spot of pyramid selling. My favourite musician is the great Dane Bowers, his soulful music transcends space and time and you would be out of your mind not to appreciate it. Celine Dion is also a hero. Favourite actor would have to be Stephen Segal, esp in Under Siege 2.
Mr Formula 1
36 years old; successful petrol head; fast cars; fast living; intelligent; successful; energetic and adventurous; hill walking; mountain cycling; champagne swilling; fine diner; mover and shaker; it's Formula One Baby!!! The Catch? No photo....high risk but Isabella just has to find out!!!
The Date
A topless ride in Mr Formula 1's pride and joy followed by a drink...so Mr Formula One rocks up in a red convertible Ferrari...nice wheels..he is tall, slim...greying...slightly receding...an average looking guy. I stumble at the first hurdle..where the hell is the door handle...I can't get it in!!! Stay calm...look cool....Oh right, he shows me underneath ofcourse how practical! I am wearing skinny white jeans and high red heels...as I clamber into the car...I virtually wind myself...I underestimated just how low these beasts are!!! Anyhoo...once inside it's like a mobile brothel...red suede and leather interior...it's so ostentatious! Next obstacle I can't find the seat belt holder...oh gawd....and guess what there's no room in the back!!! Where do you put your groceries!!! Hey ho...so pedal to the metal and with an almighty roar...I fly back into my seat and Mr Formula One burns out of the village like Jenson Button! Now this is exhilarating! We are going like the clappers along the country roads it's fantastic fun...made better by the fact the engine is so loud and the wind overhead that there's no need to talk - perfect I think as I catch a glimpse of myself in the wing mirror...wild hair...super cool shades...just don't look right and have the bubble burst...keep left and ahead and imagine you're with the man of your dreams!
Funnily enough we reach our destination in next to no time. Boring!!! I really don't want to go for a drink I just want RACE...RACE...RACE!!! This car draws ALOT of attention. We go for a drink...chit chat...have a few laughs...I know he's not for me but I make an effort as I want a lift home in the spaceship!!! He has a good job in F1...runs a team and has a very analytical and logical mind. He loves his job and his cars. He's a petrol head...slightly geeky. I establish he's never been married, had 3, 3 year relationships (his boredom threshold I tell him appears to run out after 3 years! Mine on this occasion expired about 20 minutes ago!) His father suffers from a severe anxiety disorder which meant his childhood was isolated and like the Good Life....he is slightly camp actually...but this may just be intellect and a very detailed mind manifesting itself in Dale Winton-esque mannerisms!!! He is however very tactile...he regularly touches my arm or knee...which I am surprised about. Anyway back to part 2 of the main event...the journey home! I manage to coerce Mr Formula One to do a loop of the area before dropping me off. He's game. So we spend the next half an hour at speeds of 130mph watching the sun set and again in blissful silence! He wants to see me again he says as we pull up and thinks we'd have a ball driving to France. Mmm I give him a peck on the cheek as a sign of my appreciation for the Top Gear experience...as I get out of the car in the most cumbersome and clumsy way possible I get an oily line across the backside of the white jeans...a small price to pay for what was a great evening racing!!! That said...still searching!
The Date
A topless ride in Mr Formula 1's pride and joy followed by a drink...so Mr Formula One rocks up in a red convertible Ferrari...nice wheels..he is tall, slim...greying...slightly receding...an average looking guy. I stumble at the first hurdle..where the hell is the door handle...I can't get it in!!! Stay calm...look cool....Oh right, he shows me underneath ofcourse how practical! I am wearing skinny white jeans and high red heels...as I clamber into the car...I virtually wind myself...I underestimated just how low these beasts are!!! Anyhoo...once inside it's like a mobile brothel...red suede and leather interior...it's so ostentatious! Next obstacle I can't find the seat belt holder...oh gawd....and guess what there's no room in the back!!! Where do you put your groceries!!! Hey ho...so pedal to the metal and with an almighty roar...I fly back into my seat and Mr Formula One burns out of the village like Jenson Button! Now this is exhilarating! We are going like the clappers along the country roads it's fantastic fun...made better by the fact the engine is so loud and the wind overhead that there's no need to talk - perfect I think as I catch a glimpse of myself in the wing mirror...wild hair...super cool shades...just don't look right and have the bubble burst...keep left and ahead and imagine you're with the man of your dreams!
Funnily enough we reach our destination in next to no time. Boring!!! I really don't want to go for a drink I just want RACE...RACE...RACE!!! This car draws ALOT of attention. We go for a drink...chit chat...have a few laughs...I know he's not for me but I make an effort as I want a lift home in the spaceship!!! He has a good job in F1...runs a team and has a very analytical and logical mind. He loves his job and his cars. He's a petrol head...slightly geeky. I establish he's never been married, had 3, 3 year relationships (his boredom threshold I tell him appears to run out after 3 years! Mine on this occasion expired about 20 minutes ago!) His father suffers from a severe anxiety disorder which meant his childhood was isolated and like the Good Life....he is slightly camp actually...but this may just be intellect and a very detailed mind manifesting itself in Dale Winton-esque mannerisms!!! He is however very tactile...he regularly touches my arm or knee...which I am surprised about. Anyway back to part 2 of the main event...the journey home! I manage to coerce Mr Formula One to do a loop of the area before dropping me off. He's game. So we spend the next half an hour at speeds of 130mph watching the sun set and again in blissful silence! He wants to see me again he says as we pull up and thinks we'd have a ball driving to France. Mmm I give him a peck on the cheek as a sign of my appreciation for the Top Gear experience...as I get out of the car in the most cumbersome and clumsy way possible I get an oily line across the backside of the white jeans...a small price to pay for what was a great evening racing!!! That said...still searching!
Wednesday, 17 June 2009
Mr Short
45 years old; divorced; 2 teenage girls; Sales Director; independent; intelligent; fussy with women. Blonde hair; green eyes, Big BMW.
The Date
A drink. Mr Short arrives and he is shorter than his profile professes. 5ft 6in in heels me thinks!!! Dear oh dear! He is smart and sophisticated but he is a dwarf! I cope with the date and conversation while we are sitting down as Mr Short disguises his height challenges well..however when we are upright and in motion I feel most uncomfortable. We are one step away from a circus act...trust me! Ompa lompa springs to mind as does short man syndrome! Hey I'm no Penny Lancaster or Rachel Hunter and Mr Short is NO Rod Stewart and for that reason I'm still searching! Let's just say like the man, this date was kept very SHORT!!!!!
The Date
A drink. Mr Short arrives and he is shorter than his profile professes. 5ft 6in in heels me thinks!!! Dear oh dear! He is smart and sophisticated but he is a dwarf! I cope with the date and conversation while we are sitting down as Mr Short disguises his height challenges well..however when we are upright and in motion I feel most uncomfortable. We are one step away from a circus act...trust me! Ompa lompa springs to mind as does short man syndrome! Hey I'm no Penny Lancaster or Rachel Hunter and Mr Short is NO Rod Stewart and for that reason I'm still searching! Let's just say like the man, this date was kept very SHORT!!!!!
Monday, 15 June 2009
Mr Serendipity
42 years old; divorced; 4 hounds; out-going; positive; funny; quirky; intelligent; colourful life experiences; ex-army; entrepreneur; sporty; life and soul of the party!
Mr Serendipity's Profile
Nothing makes me laugh more than listening to the misdemeanours of my family and friends or recounting my own mishaps, of which I have had plenty and hopefully will continue to do so! I love walking in the sun and rain, sitting on a hill top, throwing herbs around the kitchen, closing the curtains with my hounds at my feet, lighting the fire, shutting the front door, the tent door, the hotel door and with a glass in hand, the fridge door. I conversely have as much fun opening each!
The Date
Drinks at his local pub. Mr Serendipity arrives with 2 of his total of 4 hounds. He has quirky glasses; is fit and casually stylish. Very warm personality and fun natured. A social bunny. We share a bottle of wine and exchange stories. Conversation flows, there's laughter and strange coincidences...we went to the same university; we've worked in the same job; we've made the same mistake! We've been living in close proximity and been to the same places at the same time! He tells me he was with his ex-wife for 5 years before they married and 5 weeks into the marriage she announced she didn't love him! In a veiled attempt to salvage his marriage, he organised couples counselling after the first session and the counsellor advised divorce! We decide to go for a night cap back at his house...we walk several miles across pitch black fields and then we arrive at his manor house. It is brimming with character and full of life, art, books, photographs, huge fireplaces and a pool table in one of the various sitting rooms! It has a great feel about it...this could be a fantastic family home I find myself thinking...a blue aga...nooks and crannies...grandfather clock soothingly chiming! Some people really do live the dream! He is down to earth and hospitable and I can hardly believe what I am seeing. All this...his personality...his success...his love for his dogs...zest for life and he's single! Genuinely looking to settle down and have a family! I am amazed...but don't dust off your hat just yet because I'm still searching!
Date 2
Supper...I am told to dress to impress...oh dear if I must the little black dress and killer heels are going to have come along for the ride! Mr Serendipity informs me we are dining with his best friend and Nia (best friend has just come out of a 9 year engagement and Nia is rocking up from Weston Super Mare) Mr Serendipity is late. Then he rocks up. He looks good. Suited and booted...big smile and warm hug. He seems quite taken aback....he tells me I look foxy and I have great legs...well observed geezer! We sink a few cocktails and await Steven and Nia. Table for 4 turns into utter drunken debauchery...with Mr Serendipity becoming most animated about his dead sheep and having all the waiting staff dancing to his tune in hilarious fashion. He is gregarious, witty, extrovert and very funny! We're a good match.
Mr Serendipity's Profile
Nothing makes me laugh more than listening to the misdemeanours of my family and friends or recounting my own mishaps, of which I have had plenty and hopefully will continue to do so! I love walking in the sun and rain, sitting on a hill top, throwing herbs around the kitchen, closing the curtains with my hounds at my feet, lighting the fire, shutting the front door, the tent door, the hotel door and with a glass in hand, the fridge door. I conversely have as much fun opening each!
The Date
Drinks at his local pub. Mr Serendipity arrives with 2 of his total of 4 hounds. He has quirky glasses; is fit and casually stylish. Very warm personality and fun natured. A social bunny. We share a bottle of wine and exchange stories. Conversation flows, there's laughter and strange coincidences...we went to the same university; we've worked in the same job; we've made the same mistake! We've been living in close proximity and been to the same places at the same time! He tells me he was with his ex-wife for 5 years before they married and 5 weeks into the marriage she announced she didn't love him! In a veiled attempt to salvage his marriage, he organised couples counselling after the first session and the counsellor advised divorce! We decide to go for a night cap back at his house...we walk several miles across pitch black fields and then we arrive at his manor house. It is brimming with character and full of life, art, books, photographs, huge fireplaces and a pool table in one of the various sitting rooms! It has a great feel about it...this could be a fantastic family home I find myself thinking...a blue aga...nooks and crannies...grandfather clock soothingly chiming! Some people really do live the dream! He is down to earth and hospitable and I can hardly believe what I am seeing. All this...his personality...his success...his love for his dogs...zest for life and he's single! Genuinely looking to settle down and have a family! I am amazed...but don't dust off your hat just yet because I'm still searching!
Date 2
Supper...I am told to dress to impress...oh dear if I must the little black dress and killer heels are going to have come along for the ride! Mr Serendipity informs me we are dining with his best friend and Nia (best friend has just come out of a 9 year engagement and Nia is rocking up from Weston Super Mare) Mr Serendipity is late. Then he rocks up. He looks good. Suited and booted...big smile and warm hug. He seems quite taken aback....he tells me I look foxy and I have great legs...well observed geezer! We sink a few cocktails and await Steven and Nia. Table for 4 turns into utter drunken debauchery...with Mr Serendipity becoming most animated about his dead sheep and having all the waiting staff dancing to his tune in hilarious fashion. He is gregarious, witty, extrovert and very funny! We're a good match.
Sunday, 14 June 2009
Mr PlayBoy
39 years old; bitter divorce; 1 son; property entrepreneur; porsche driving; hockey playing; breitling loving; potential playboy
Mr Playboy's Profile
I am single and play many sports, polo cricket and hockey. What am I looking for? You should live life as if every day is your last. Love sunsets and sunrises, autumn leaves and snow. Remember I am a man for all seasons. I love the good life, nice holidays abroad. Fine wine and champagne, chemistry is very important and also fun, loving each other, caring and being thoughtful with great depth! So if you are true to yourself, I would love to talk. The door is open! ME. Oh by the way I do just like to relax with a nice glass of wine and a dvd!
The Date
Invitation to sip champagne on Mr PlayBoy's balcony! I arrive to a long winding driveway and electric gates. I press the intercom and start to think this date is potentially high risk and dangerous. However, I have all of his details and my friend knows where I am so what's the worse that could happen? Mr PlayBoy is walking towards me, I feel like a child at Willy Wonkers Factory waiting to be let through the gates to see all the delights! He is better looking than his profile photo, well dressed in chinos and a blue shirt, he has piercing blue eyes and black hair. Stylish. As I enter his grounds, and the chink of the gate closes and locks us in, it sends a slight shiver down my spine and I do wonder if this is bad idea. He walks me along a winding pathway and onto his massive balcony that overlooks a landscaped garden. On the table is a white cloth, candles, 4 bottles of still water. There is music playing, George Michael. He opens the pink champagne and pours it inside. Edging on the side of caution I ask to swap glasses with him when he returns for fear of my drink being spiked. We sit and talk, he seems slightly nervous and quite serious. He tells me about his bitter divorce and his son who he clearly adores. He is proud to show me his hockey programmes and achievements, as well as his expensive watch collection!!! A gadget man; very successful and wealthy and lonely. He seems guarded and hurt. He offers to make supper, salmon and asparagus followed by a strange choice of dessert of peaches and ice-cream! As I sit on Mr PlayBoy's balcony and take in the view, I feel rather sorry for him, this manly figure I can see through the window, he has everything, all the possessions one could ever wish for. But he doesn't have anyone special to share them with. As I leave Mr Playboy he gives me a prolonged hug and I sense how sad he really is about how it's turned out for him. There's talk of a second date, a picnic on a hill he suggests...I'm still searching!
Mr Playboy's Profile
I am single and play many sports, polo cricket and hockey. What am I looking for? You should live life as if every day is your last. Love sunsets and sunrises, autumn leaves and snow. Remember I am a man for all seasons. I love the good life, nice holidays abroad. Fine wine and champagne, chemistry is very important and also fun, loving each other, caring and being thoughtful with great depth! So if you are true to yourself, I would love to talk. The door is open! ME. Oh by the way I do just like to relax with a nice glass of wine and a dvd!
The Date
Invitation to sip champagne on Mr PlayBoy's balcony! I arrive to a long winding driveway and electric gates. I press the intercom and start to think this date is potentially high risk and dangerous. However, I have all of his details and my friend knows where I am so what's the worse that could happen? Mr PlayBoy is walking towards me, I feel like a child at Willy Wonkers Factory waiting to be let through the gates to see all the delights! He is better looking than his profile photo, well dressed in chinos and a blue shirt, he has piercing blue eyes and black hair. Stylish. As I enter his grounds, and the chink of the gate closes and locks us in, it sends a slight shiver down my spine and I do wonder if this is bad idea. He walks me along a winding pathway and onto his massive balcony that overlooks a landscaped garden. On the table is a white cloth, candles, 4 bottles of still water. There is music playing, George Michael. He opens the pink champagne and pours it inside. Edging on the side of caution I ask to swap glasses with him when he returns for fear of my drink being spiked. We sit and talk, he seems slightly nervous and quite serious. He tells me about his bitter divorce and his son who he clearly adores. He is proud to show me his hockey programmes and achievements, as well as his expensive watch collection!!! A gadget man; very successful and wealthy and lonely. He seems guarded and hurt. He offers to make supper, salmon and asparagus followed by a strange choice of dessert of peaches and ice-cream! As I sit on Mr PlayBoy's balcony and take in the view, I feel rather sorry for him, this manly figure I can see through the window, he has everything, all the possessions one could ever wish for. But he doesn't have anyone special to share them with. As I leave Mr Playboy he gives me a prolonged hug and I sense how sad he really is about how it's turned out for him. There's talk of a second date, a picnic on a hill he suggests...I'm still searching!
Saturday, 13 June 2009
Mr I Love Myself
37 years old; single; broker; eligible; loves himself;loves his convertible; loves himself a bit more; loves his 800 emails that arrived this morning because he is so busy and important and it's all about him, his tan, his muscles, his business, HIM HIM HIM!
The Date
Mid morning coffee. Mr I Love Myself arrives in a sky blue convertible Saab. This guy seriously loves himself! He is tanned and muscular, wearing a designer T shirt, shorts and get this socks and designer trainers? Er hello? Everything is labels, the wallet, the watch, the attitude. He tells me how he is a very busy man with a very successful broking business. Do I realise he has had 800 emails just this morning to wade through...I do now, and I still do when he tells me for the third time! So irritating people who harp on about the size of their inbox! Sort your spam out I say buddy! Mr I Love Myself has a hot tub in his garden in Swindon that he is very proud of! The said hot tub has disco lights, a remote control wrapped in plastic, varying seat levels, a TV screen for watching movies and can hold 8 people comfortably! Mr I Love Myself has a monotone communication style...robotic, incessant and so boring! He is going on and on as he sits in the sun and even has his eyes closed for much of the time just loving the sound of his own voice! He tells me that lots of women think he's gay, (because he takes such good care of how he looks) and that's why he's internet dating as he doesn't meet many women when he's out with his friends. Mmm maybe that's because he's too busy kissing his guns and talking about his 800 emails I want to say but feel it inappropriate, plus I can't get a word in anyway. Still searching!
The Date
Mid morning coffee. Mr I Love Myself arrives in a sky blue convertible Saab. This guy seriously loves himself! He is tanned and muscular, wearing a designer T shirt, shorts and get this socks and designer trainers? Er hello? Everything is labels, the wallet, the watch, the attitude. He tells me how he is a very busy man with a very successful broking business. Do I realise he has had 800 emails just this morning to wade through...I do now, and I still do when he tells me for the third time! So irritating people who harp on about the size of their inbox! Sort your spam out I say buddy! Mr I Love Myself has a hot tub in his garden in Swindon that he is very proud of! The said hot tub has disco lights, a remote control wrapped in plastic, varying seat levels, a TV screen for watching movies and can hold 8 people comfortably! Mr I Love Myself has a monotone communication style...robotic, incessant and so boring! He is going on and on as he sits in the sun and even has his eyes closed for much of the time just loving the sound of his own voice! He tells me that lots of women think he's gay, (because he takes such good care of how he looks) and that's why he's internet dating as he doesn't meet many women when he's out with his friends. Mmm maybe that's because he's too busy kissing his guns and talking about his 800 emails I want to say but feel it inappropriate, plus I can't get a word in anyway. Still searching!
Mr Rebound
38 years old; single; executive; intelligent; cheeky; sporty; all rounder or so it seems...
The Date
A spontaneous decision to meet last minute for afternoon tea in the sunshine. Mr Rebound arrives suited and booted in his middle management BMW estate. He is good looking, piercing blue eyes; salt and pepper hair; fit and suave persona. We chat and the conversation is relaxed and flowing well. I quite like him. Pleasantly surprised, he looks better than his pictures. Great personality. I ask him where he lives and if he lives alone. Now I consider myself to be pretty intuitive and what Mr Rebound says next totally shocks me. I would have never have guessed it.
Are you ready for this....so Mr Rebound pauses and looks uncomfortable and then he says that he doesn't know quite how to tell me but he lives with his partner, Jules, who is 50 years old they have been together for 8 years and although he has made the decision to leave her he wants to find someone else before he does so! I am totally flabbergasted...lost for words! However, rather than abandon ship, I decide all in the name of research to ask Mr Rebound more about his complex situ. He admits that he doesn't want to be on his own, his self esteem is probably under par and he feels trapped. He has been unfaithful several times with women he works with and although he has felt guilty about this, he knows he is not happy. He says meeting me has thrown him, as I am nicer than he imagined and he is gutted that he is not genuinely single. Appearances can be deceptive and Mr Rebound is one dark pony that I have no desire to ride!
The Date
A spontaneous decision to meet last minute for afternoon tea in the sunshine. Mr Rebound arrives suited and booted in his middle management BMW estate. He is good looking, piercing blue eyes; salt and pepper hair; fit and suave persona. We chat and the conversation is relaxed and flowing well. I quite like him. Pleasantly surprised, he looks better than his pictures. Great personality. I ask him where he lives and if he lives alone. Now I consider myself to be pretty intuitive and what Mr Rebound says next totally shocks me. I would have never have guessed it.
Are you ready for this....so Mr Rebound pauses and looks uncomfortable and then he says that he doesn't know quite how to tell me but he lives with his partner, Jules, who is 50 years old they have been together for 8 years and although he has made the decision to leave her he wants to find someone else before he does so! I am totally flabbergasted...lost for words! However, rather than abandon ship, I decide all in the name of research to ask Mr Rebound more about his complex situ. He admits that he doesn't want to be on his own, his self esteem is probably under par and he feels trapped. He has been unfaithful several times with women he works with and although he has felt guilty about this, he knows he is not happy. He says meeting me has thrown him, as I am nicer than he imagined and he is gutted that he is not genuinely single. Appearances can be deceptive and Mr Rebound is one dark pony that I have no desire to ride!
Mr Military
38 years old; divorced; no children; wants children and a wife; miliary man.
The Date
Drinks and dinner. I arrive dressed up to the nines, to see a very different man from the black and white well lit; well shot; air-brushed profile picture...Mr Military is wearing a white shirt and a tank top. I instantly know we are not going to click! He is stockier than his picture portrayed and we look a total mismatch in this trendy, chic bar! He is serious and controlled, hey he's in the military! He talks alot about the training and his boys and how he is aspiring to be an officer, bag the pension and be sorted for life. Gosh I am bored. I am really struggling to maintain eye contact and interest. He tells me about his ex-wife, she was adopted and brought issues to the relationship and the reasons they divorced after 2 years of marriage. Then he tells me he is off to Afghanistan for 12 months and would I be able to work around that. I cannot sit through dinner with Mr Military...stand by your beds and salute! ATTENTION! So I pop to the loo, Mr Military goes at the same time luckily for me and I seize the opportunity to escape so I make the cruel but necessary decision to whizz out of the bar while Mr Military is otherwise engaged! As I head home in my taxi, Mr Military is on a mission to hunt me down Operation-Disappearing-Date...mobile flashing on auto-pilot I reflect on the pitfalls of internet dating...one profile...one picture...one person who may not be anything like we perceive...still searching!
The Date
Drinks and dinner. I arrive dressed up to the nines, to see a very different man from the black and white well lit; well shot; air-brushed profile picture...Mr Military is wearing a white shirt and a tank top. I instantly know we are not going to click! He is stockier than his picture portrayed and we look a total mismatch in this trendy, chic bar! He is serious and controlled, hey he's in the military! He talks alot about the training and his boys and how he is aspiring to be an officer, bag the pension and be sorted for life. Gosh I am bored. I am really struggling to maintain eye contact and interest. He tells me about his ex-wife, she was adopted and brought issues to the relationship and the reasons they divorced after 2 years of marriage. Then he tells me he is off to Afghanistan for 12 months and would I be able to work around that. I cannot sit through dinner with Mr Military...stand by your beds and salute! ATTENTION! So I pop to the loo, Mr Military goes at the same time luckily for me and I seize the opportunity to escape so I make the cruel but necessary decision to whizz out of the bar while Mr Military is otherwise engaged! As I head home in my taxi, Mr Military is on a mission to hunt me down Operation-Disappearing-Date...mobile flashing on auto-pilot I reflect on the pitfalls of internet dating...one profile...one picture...one person who may not be anything like we perceive...still searching!
Friday, 12 June 2009
Mr PowerBoat
Mr Powerboat
43 years old; divorced; 2 kids; 1 dog; an entrepreneur in property; ex-professional powerboat sportsman; likes the booze and good times; underlying a genuine and nice person with an edge that adds interest and a spark.
The Date
Lunch al fresco; Mr Powerboat looks better in person than his profile photos, a rough Robbie Williams lookalike!To Be Continued!!!
43 years old; divorced; 2 kids; 1 dog; an entrepreneur in property; ex-professional powerboat sportsman; likes the booze and good times; underlying a genuine and nice person with an edge that adds interest and a spark.
The Date
Lunch al fresco; Mr Powerboat looks better in person than his profile photos, a rough Robbie Williams lookalike!To Be Continued!!!
Monday, 8 June 2009
Mr Spiritual
41 year old divorcee; acrimonious split from wife, 2 children 3 and 5 years; entrepreneur; described himself as stocky; spiritual!
The Date
Mr Spiritual invites me to a music concert; we meet in London; he rocks up in his silver convertible Saab; he is not stocky he is rotund and very pleased to see me! I know instantly that we are a mismatch; however I like live music and also I feel I need to look beyond instant appearances and give Mr Spiritual a chance. We go for lunch and once Mr Spiritual has me trapped at the table and strapped me in for the life lesson...he starts...his sales pitch...his mission....his opening gambit is this "The most important relationship is the one he has with himself"....spirituality....his journey so far...his mantra...India...temples...teepees...wigwams...and thank you mams!!! His greater self....buddhism....matter....mind....mind....matter...you know what I'm thinking as I neck my champagne....I really DO mind and this really doesn't matter, where;s the band!....chatter..chatter...chatter...his divine self is joining us for luncheon me thinks...for someone who is a wannabe yogi...yoga loving...meditating...soul searching...soul cleansing.....pure...happy..clappy...chappy...Mr Spiritual looks bloody miserable. He is the most appalling listener, I simply cannot get a word in...and then when I do seize the opportunity to ask a question...he starts to unravel. He is in the process of a very acrimonious divorce, his wife has taken his kids away from him, she left him due to his controlling and stressed behaviours; his business is under incredible pressure and he's forked out his life savings on court fees. He admits to being previously on self destruct, drinking too much and living a shallow existence of one night stands; drugs and drink and feeling depressed and angry. At this point he ordered a double black sambucca, for old times sake! We manage to get to the stadium, at least the music and crowd is now drowning out his positive affirmations and peace man signals! I enjoy the concert, mainly staying focused on the stage and the atmosphere and not Mr Spiritual to the left of me! I excuse my self and pop to the ladies and as I gaze into the mirror, I follow my gut instinct in true spiritual style and I feel no regrets as my inner being is crying out to me to GET OUT OF THERE and as I saunter out of the turn stiles towards the taxi rank and towards the train station...ever nearer to the sanctuary of my home, I know I am aligned! I imagine as the train pulls out of London, Mr Spirituality is probably playing bongos now and in higher state of being than the other 40,000 people at the concert! In fact, Mr Spirituality is so tuned in to his divine self that he probably hasn't noticed that I've done a runner at all.............!
Saturday, 6 June 2009
Mr Bathroom
43 years old; single; tall; slim; attractive; sporty; eligible bachelor; Chairman of a 30 year old family bespoke bathroom business; wealthy; 14 toilets; 6 bikes; 4 cars; big bank balance; endorphin addict cycles 40 miles every day or so; non conformist wannabe; all the money hasn't brought happiness or contentment...a little bit lonely and lost; emotionally closed; wants children and a wife and an allotment and acres and acres of land and the fairytale.
The DateMr Bathroom is late...claims to be ultra punctual and detests lateness; I have now been amusing myself for 30 minutes; hey I like my own company which is just as well as we are now approaching 45 minutes; so I send a text informing Mr Multi-Millionaire that I'm awaiting no more; text back says Silver Mercedes Convertible and heavy traffic; hey I'm not an unreasonable girl what's another 10 minutes amongst topless friends! We have early afternoon drinks on a terrace in the countryside. Mr Multi-Millionaire seems quite serious; articulate; intelligent; I am unsure if he likes me there no initial obvious signs; he's cautious about golddiggers; we share our stories; he had an 8 year relationship which turned into brother and sister rather than swinging from the rafters and he drifted along for the last few years now he is determined not to compromise or settle for anything but the fairytale.
Date 2
5 Star country manor hotel for cocktails; pool; dinner and conversation!
Mr Bathroom is late AGAIN! But only slightly. I have decided to dress to impress; red killer heels; men it seems like red. So we kick back with a few mojitos; conversation isn't over flowing; Mr Bathroom is quite hard to read and semi serious; more mojitos; talk of our week; his 7 hour "BORED" meeting; he questions me about my plans, what I'm looking for; we go for dinner, scallops and seabass, fine wine; he relaxes and becomes much more amusing; he announces that he thinks I'm square (!!!) privately educated, country girl with a serious exterior; it's funny it seems he's describing himself! For dessert I will be mainly looking a giant raspberry bellini; we play pool, him well, me badly; singapore slings arrive next in all their glory; then more raspberry bellinis; we sit outside on the terrace in the rain; share a cigar and then another; he says he is smitten! I think he's rather drunk! He tells me I have chestnut eyes....he is fixated or paralytic! Result = an invitation to go to Italy on Monday??? Men like red me thinks.....the red shoes are working wonders but there's no place like home so say Dorothy in Oz! However I have always wanted to go to Italy....still searching!
Friday, 5 June 2009
Mr Psychologist
55 years old; divorced; 2 grown up sons; an NLP psychologist; charming; distinguished; engaging; intellectually stimulating; soothing conversation; in tune; caring; considerate; kind; sweet; But there's an edge in the shape of a dirty old man!
Mr Psychologist's Profile
Be free from fear and possession - learn to relax and have fun
I am a young at heart yet mature man A Psychologist. Yes the maddest of all people. Yet - happy in nature and looking for someone so special that I will know you are the one from the moment I meet you ) I am a romantic and tender person I want to take care of you and do all I can to please you - as it is only when I know my partner is happy that I can get any satisfaction and fun from the relationship too! I am active, fly for a hobby, scuba dive, ski and like to keep fit. I love to share quiet times at home - but perhaps before that why not let's see if there is any chemistry, and try before we buy!
The Date
We meet for lunch; Mr Psychologist brings me blue flowers as I have told him on previous phone calls that blue is my favourite colour. He is endearing and delightful; an old fashioned gentleman who desperately wants to be loved and to love; he suffered abuse at boarding school which he has never addressed through therapy but this probably explains his career choice to help others who have been traumatised; we talk at length about human interaction and relationships; I am drawn to his theories for example that it takes 17 minutes and 7 seconds for a man and woman to decide if there is chemistry between them; right on cue at what could be 18 minutes another present arises; a little box with sky blue tissue paper inside I delve in deeply with excitement and curiosity how lovely to be lavished with thoughtful gifts......my mind wanders to the thought of diamonds... and then it appears a blue garter...oh dear bubble burst...dirty old man has arrived for second part of the date. I want him to be my father; my uncle; my friend; my mentor; I want to provide him with a pipe and slippers and do up his cardigan the right way (he's not wearing a cardigan but he should be!!!) and for him to protect and advise me in a child-like way and have on-going conversations about human psychology and the reasons behind our MAD behaviours and quirks but sadly I am not Mr Psychologist's patient and he is hot bloodied older man with a raging libido! Viagra anyone? No couch, no tissues, no more psycho-analysis, no blue garter on these pins par-lease and no future unfortunately...still searching!
Mr Psychologist's Profile
Be free from fear and possession - learn to relax and have fun
I am a young at heart yet mature man A Psychologist. Yes the maddest of all people. Yet - happy in nature and looking for someone so special that I will know you are the one from the moment I meet you ) I am a romantic and tender person I want to take care of you and do all I can to please you - as it is only when I know my partner is happy that I can get any satisfaction and fun from the relationship too! I am active, fly for a hobby, scuba dive, ski and like to keep fit. I love to share quiet times at home - but perhaps before that why not let's see if there is any chemistry, and try before we buy!
The Date
We meet for lunch; Mr Psychologist brings me blue flowers as I have told him on previous phone calls that blue is my favourite colour. He is endearing and delightful; an old fashioned gentleman who desperately wants to be loved and to love; he suffered abuse at boarding school which he has never addressed through therapy but this probably explains his career choice to help others who have been traumatised; we talk at length about human interaction and relationships; I am drawn to his theories for example that it takes 17 minutes and 7 seconds for a man and woman to decide if there is chemistry between them; right on cue at what could be 18 minutes another present arises; a little box with sky blue tissue paper inside I delve in deeply with excitement and curiosity how lovely to be lavished with thoughtful gifts......my mind wanders to the thought of diamonds... and then it appears a blue garter...oh dear bubble burst...dirty old man has arrived for second part of the date. I want him to be my father; my uncle; my friend; my mentor; I want to provide him with a pipe and slippers and do up his cardigan the right way (he's not wearing a cardigan but he should be!!!) and for him to protect and advise me in a child-like way and have on-going conversations about human psychology and the reasons behind our MAD behaviours and quirks but sadly I am not Mr Psychologist's patient and he is hot bloodied older man with a raging libido! Viagra anyone? No couch, no tissues, no more psycho-analysis, no blue garter on these pins par-lease and no future unfortunately...still searching!
Mr Magic
43 years old; divorced; 2 children; hilarious company; very successful Managing Partner of an Investment Firm aka an IFA with 20 years experience and the gift of the gab who has fallen on his feet well and truly; Porsche 911; Charming; Engaging; did I mention HILARIOUS company? Fun; Down to Earth; Well heeled; Passionate; Cheeky; Shoe fetish for sure!!! Favourite colour is red...I didn't know this but luckily wore red killer hells and a red jacket with skinny jeans - BINGO!
The Date
Drinks at Hotel du Vin. Mr Magic rocks up great smile, big hug; instant spark; quirky glasses; stylish linen suit; conversation flows; belly laughing to the point of crying! Mangetout mangetout and yes we do have dinner. Mr Magic knocks his glass of fizz over my leg...more laughter. We are toasting to "US" childish but so much fun : ) chatting to 2 poor unsuspecting ladies next to us; we are on fire! We kiss across the table like teenagers and have one damn fine evening.
Date 2
An afternoon rendezvous for date 2 with Mr Magic..we meet for coffee. Mr Magic is reading I Dare You on arrival...within seconds we are in fits of giggles again. We stroll through the streets and he tells me about the architecture and we talk about nothing and everything! We stumble upon an open house art gallery and gate crash the party. Two people standing side by side, staring at images of birds, flowers, landscapes...sharing the experience. We sit on a bench in Church grounds, I discover that Mr Magic is a deep thinker, responsible and in tune with his children's needs and has an overwhelming desire to ensure they are well rounded, loved and secure. He writes notes to them in the books he reads, so that when he dies and his kids read his books they will have his guidance and presence with them. We end the date over a bottle of red and a pizza, crying with laughter and just enjoying each other's company!
Date 3
Mr Magic arrives to pick me up. Oh boy, he is really something. He just looks cool! I am so flustered which is not like me!!! We go to a restaurant...he sits close and is very tactile and funny and the conversation is over flowing. We have some meaningful debates, he's got me sussed and there's lots of laughter. The restaurant manager is flirting with me at our table! Dear oh dear what is going on...I am wearing red again...maybe there is something about the colour red that draws men in because this guy is making it blatantly obvious, even Mr Magic is laughing at the cheek of it. Mr Magic really knows how to treat a woman. He has the balance just right...tactile but not sleazy, hilarious but not trying too hard, sexy but more into me than himself, he dresses just how a man should dress, jeans, great shoes, white shirt, stylish jacket. The restaurant manager is now creating a cocktail just for me!!! He is out staying his welcome at our table...Mr Magic compliments me alot, he is the type of guy who builds you up, exudes confidence and positivity and I feel as if I'd like him to pick me and put me in his pocket!
Date 4
Brunch! Al fresco brunch with Mr Magic. He rocks up in his suit, as he is going live at noon for a news programme he informs me. No he is not joking, Mr Magic is the real deal. I on the other hand will be mainly sky-plusing it! We sit and chat, at a waterside cafe watching the world and his dog go by. I like Mr Magic's company...there is a connection between us I think...
***I press play with feelings of excitement and eagerness to see Mr Magic on the big screen! Oh my gosh, it's him...it's Mr Magic...he's on the TV!!! Mr Magic looks sexy as, he articulates himself well, he comes across as professional, intelligent, serious, assertive, smart and sharp. He is wearing a yellow tie with his pin stripe power suit and quirky designer glasses with a yellow trim. He looks the business...he is the business...I hope we're in business!
The Date
Drinks at Hotel du Vin. Mr Magic rocks up great smile, big hug; instant spark; quirky glasses; stylish linen suit; conversation flows; belly laughing to the point of crying! Mangetout mangetout and yes we do have dinner. Mr Magic knocks his glass of fizz over my leg...more laughter. We are toasting to "US" childish but so much fun : ) chatting to 2 poor unsuspecting ladies next to us; we are on fire! We kiss across the table like teenagers and have one damn fine evening.
Date 2
An afternoon rendezvous for date 2 with Mr Magic..we meet for coffee. Mr Magic is reading I Dare You on arrival...within seconds we are in fits of giggles again. We stroll through the streets and he tells me about the architecture and we talk about nothing and everything! We stumble upon an open house art gallery and gate crash the party. Two people standing side by side, staring at images of birds, flowers, landscapes...sharing the experience. We sit on a bench in Church grounds, I discover that Mr Magic is a deep thinker, responsible and in tune with his children's needs and has an overwhelming desire to ensure they are well rounded, loved and secure. He writes notes to them in the books he reads, so that when he dies and his kids read his books they will have his guidance and presence with them. We end the date over a bottle of red and a pizza, crying with laughter and just enjoying each other's company!
Date 3
Mr Magic arrives to pick me up. Oh boy, he is really something. He just looks cool! I am so flustered which is not like me!!! We go to a restaurant...he sits close and is very tactile and funny and the conversation is over flowing. We have some meaningful debates, he's got me sussed and there's lots of laughter. The restaurant manager is flirting with me at our table! Dear oh dear what is going on...I am wearing red again...maybe there is something about the colour red that draws men in because this guy is making it blatantly obvious, even Mr Magic is laughing at the cheek of it. Mr Magic really knows how to treat a woman. He has the balance just right...tactile but not sleazy, hilarious but not trying too hard, sexy but more into me than himself, he dresses just how a man should dress, jeans, great shoes, white shirt, stylish jacket. The restaurant manager is now creating a cocktail just for me!!! He is out staying his welcome at our table...Mr Magic compliments me alot, he is the type of guy who builds you up, exudes confidence and positivity and I feel as if I'd like him to pick me and put me in his pocket!
Date 4
Brunch! Al fresco brunch with Mr Magic. He rocks up in his suit, as he is going live at noon for a news programme he informs me. No he is not joking, Mr Magic is the real deal. I on the other hand will be mainly sky-plusing it! We sit and chat, at a waterside cafe watching the world and his dog go by. I like Mr Magic's company...there is a connection between us I think...
***I press play with feelings of excitement and eagerness to see Mr Magic on the big screen! Oh my gosh, it's him...it's Mr Magic...he's on the TV!!! Mr Magic looks sexy as, he articulates himself well, he comes across as professional, intelligent, serious, assertive, smart and sharp. He is wearing a yellow tie with his pin stripe power suit and quirky designer glasses with a yellow trim. He looks the business...he is the business...I hope we're in business!
Thursday, 4 June 2009
Mr Marrieds
Mr Marrieds tend to have no photo (for obvious reasons) these men are chancers, never going to leave their wives or families but happy to betray them for thrills. These men are looking for arrangements; liaisons; mistresses; no strings attached; will lavish gifts; holidays; business trips; never commit to me or you or anyone for that matter. These men are driven by sex and danger; these men are unhappy; insecure; probably not particularly fond of and certainly not respectful of women. These men give other men a BAD name. These men are weak; insincere and pretty pathetic.
No Date Yet - Just Emails!
I have received dozens of emails from Mr Marrieds looking for my company. They are direct and bold; very open and honest about their marital status; ironic really they can be so open and honest with a complete stranger like me; but lie and deceive their wives. I will embark on a date with a Mr Married all in the name of research but I will not enjoy it.
The Date
TBC!
No Date Yet - Just Emails!
I have received dozens of emails from Mr Marrieds looking for my company. They are direct and bold; very open and honest about their marital status; ironic really they can be so open and honest with a complete stranger like me; but lie and deceive their wives. I will embark on a date with a Mr Married all in the name of research but I will not enjoy it.
The Date
TBC!
Wednesday, 3 June 2009
Mr Rubber
37 years old; Scottish; divorced; 1 child; MuscleMan; 6 ft 4in; Production manager working with rubber (definitely a dark horse given half the chance one suspects); Sensitive and sweet; Smitten..him not me!
Mr Rubber's Profile
This is the hard part! I'm a Scottish guy who's now been living in Wilts for about 18 months. Kinda getting used to the taste of cider and the funny Japanese people who take pictures of stones!! I love my music, live if possible. What am I looking for? Someone who makes me smile and makes me laugh. Someone who will put up with my cooking and my kilt wearing exploits. Someone who can smile in the face of adversity and always be positive. Fit the bill? ...Oh and you have to make a mean coffee...
The Date
Why do MuscleMen drive women's cars more suited to hairdressers? So Mr Muscle arrives squashed into his BMW Z3 - he's 6ft 4in and very broad his head is on the roof for goodness sake and he looks in total discomfort! Almost at contortionist extremes!!! Anyhoo, I enter the vehicle crashing my head on the door frame...grace and elegance personified as always! We go for a drink...I know immediately even the way he holds himself; the way he talks and stares lustfully or lovingly into my eyes he's not for me! Shame as he seems to be a really genuine, kind and lovely chap. How does that work? Us women we want a nice chap and happy ever after and then the bastard radar tunes in. What do women want? What do I want? I know what I don't want and it's Mr Rubber. It's raining outside so to make the date memorable I suggest we drive back with the roof down and get soaked! He's game and we do it...music blaring...2 strangers sitting side by side soaking wet, freezing cold, but it's exciting and exhilarating and it tells me that some people will do anything for someone they fancy, including getting drenched through and having wet car seats for probably days later. It also tells me that it's not what you're doing it's who you're with that's important and for that reason I'm still searching....
Mr Rubber's Profile
This is the hard part! I'm a Scottish guy who's now been living in Wilts for about 18 months. Kinda getting used to the taste of cider and the funny Japanese people who take pictures of stones!! I love my music, live if possible. What am I looking for? Someone who makes me smile and makes me laugh. Someone who will put up with my cooking and my kilt wearing exploits. Someone who can smile in the face of adversity and always be positive. Fit the bill? ...Oh and you have to make a mean coffee...
The Date
Why do MuscleMen drive women's cars more suited to hairdressers? So Mr Muscle arrives squashed into his BMW Z3 - he's 6ft 4in and very broad his head is on the roof for goodness sake and he looks in total discomfort! Almost at contortionist extremes!!! Anyhoo, I enter the vehicle crashing my head on the door frame...grace and elegance personified as always! We go for a drink...I know immediately even the way he holds himself; the way he talks and stares lustfully or lovingly into my eyes he's not for me! Shame as he seems to be a really genuine, kind and lovely chap. How does that work? Us women we want a nice chap and happy ever after and then the bastard radar tunes in. What do women want? What do I want? I know what I don't want and it's Mr Rubber. It's raining outside so to make the date memorable I suggest we drive back with the roof down and get soaked! He's game and we do it...music blaring...2 strangers sitting side by side soaking wet, freezing cold, but it's exciting and exhilarating and it tells me that some people will do anything for someone they fancy, including getting drenched through and having wet car seats for probably days later. It also tells me that it's not what you're doing it's who you're with that's important and for that reason I'm still searching....
Mr Penis Extension
40 years old; single; motor bike fanatic; good email banter; no close up photo (alarm bells should have chimed!!!)
The Date
Mr Penis Extension contacted me on a sunny eve in true spontaneous fashion and offered to drive down in his convertible Jaguar XKR; picture Bridget Jones with Hugh Grant on their weekend to the country and I am not precious about my hair so it's a WIN/WIN option! Sexy wheels, Mr Penis Extension drove like the devil; however on coming down earth from 0-90 in 10 seconds; I see a balding; toothy; stocky; rough looking guy who does absolutely nothing for me. Excuses made and home I go...still searching!!!
The Date
Mr Penis Extension contacted me on a sunny eve in true spontaneous fashion and offered to drive down in his convertible Jaguar XKR; picture Bridget Jones with Hugh Grant on their weekend to the country and I am not precious about my hair so it's a WIN/WIN option! Sexy wheels, Mr Penis Extension drove like the devil; however on coming down earth from 0-90 in 10 seconds; I see a balding; toothy; stocky; rough looking guy who does absolutely nothing for me. Excuses made and home I go...still searching!!!
Monday, 1 June 2009
Mr Mummys Boy
49 years old; ex corporate finance lawyer; restaurateur; never married; well travelled; likes his independence; sportsman
The Date
Drinks al fresco then meeting up with his younger friends for a village fair. Mr Mummys Boy was very old fashioned and gentlemanly on arrival. Seemed keen and a big talker, name dropping and not a great listener. Wishing to give him the benefit of the doubt I agreed to join him for dinner. He disappeared for sometime between aperitifs and food being ordered...to move his car apparently...most strange! I did experience mild panic and feelings of utter rejection that he may well have deserted me at the restaurant. However, Mr Mummys Boy returned full of apologies and proceeded to lean over his chair and into my lap as the meal unfolded. The clanger came as he was telling me about his elderly mother....I piped up with my witty banter "Don't tell me you live with your mother..." EXIT stage left...because yes you guessed it, Mr Mummys Boy does! What the F++K? Still searching for a single eligible bachelor, without the extended family in tow!
The Date
Drinks al fresco then meeting up with his younger friends for a village fair. Mr Mummys Boy was very old fashioned and gentlemanly on arrival. Seemed keen and a big talker, name dropping and not a great listener. Wishing to give him the benefit of the doubt I agreed to join him for dinner. He disappeared for sometime between aperitifs and food being ordered...to move his car apparently...most strange! I did experience mild panic and feelings of utter rejection that he may well have deserted me at the restaurant. However, Mr Mummys Boy returned full of apologies and proceeded to lean over his chair and into my lap as the meal unfolded. The clanger came as he was telling me about his elderly mother....I piped up with my witty banter "Don't tell me you live with your mother..." EXIT stage left...because yes you guessed it, Mr Mummys Boy does! What the F++K? Still searching for a single eligible bachelor, without the extended family in tow!
Mr Kinky
Mr Kinky
43 years old; divorced; 1 son; successful workaholic; gadget man; proud cricketer; into his community and local profile; a player, quite possibly!
The Date
Drinks and dinner at his house; cigars in the garden; good conversation; nice aga; no lager but fine wine! Thai food and sharing life stories. Claims to be seeking a relationship, more children and a settled family life. However, Mr Kinky it materialises is a little, shall we say over sexed! Likes to get quite graphic in conversation and happy to impart that he likes slapping ones arse and sex every day if possible, not to mention the fantasy of desk sex in his meglomaniac office environment...dear o dear...TAXI quick as you can!
43 years old; divorced; 1 son; successful workaholic; gadget man; proud cricketer; into his community and local profile; a player, quite possibly!
The Date
Drinks and dinner at his house; cigars in the garden; good conversation; nice aga; no lager but fine wine! Thai food and sharing life stories. Claims to be seeking a relationship, more children and a settled family life. However, Mr Kinky it materialises is a little, shall we say over sexed! Likes to get quite graphic in conversation and happy to impart that he likes slapping ones arse and sex every day if possible, not to mention the fantasy of desk sex in his meglomaniac office environment...dear o dear...TAXI quick as you can!
Mr Divorced Divorce Lawyer
Mr Divorced Divorce Lawyer
45 years old; divorced; Very successful high profile London based lawyer; good looking (in a David Duchovny sort of way!); intelligent; wealthy and generous; witty and cheeky; eligible bachelor.
The First Date
We arrange to meet mid-afternoon at a country retreat for drinks and Mr Divorced Divorce Lawyer suggests if we are still speaking to each other then dinner could follow! I arrive to find Mr DDL sat in the garden reading a historical book and sinking a pint. He had text me ahead of our meeting to say he would very casually dressed. He is wearing a polo shirt and cargo shorts. He seems quite serious and guarded to start with, asks me alot of questions. Then it's my turn...but first Mr DDL disappears and returns with a bottle Veuve Cliquot and strawberries! I discover Mr DDL was married to a lawyer in his firm. He had a one night stand with a legal trainee and his ex wife went off with a barrister! He is very high profile, having recently represented an ex wife of a very well known celebrity chef! He is articulate and sharp and we seem to be getting on well. The more he drinks (which is pretty substantial) the funnier and cheekier he becomes. He is a contradiction. On first appearances, seems a typical public school boy, boarding school, stiff upper lip, up tight and emotionally retarded. However, there is a rebel bursting to get out of Mr DDL. And I am here to facilitate it!!! We go for dinner and have a hoot! Mr DDL does a hilarious impression of Peter Sellers Inspector Clouseau "Does Your Dawg Bite" we are in stitches and crying with laughter!!! We retire to the terrace for night-caps...and end up paddling in the stream and having a water fight...Mr DDL seems elated and free from the conformity of his professional life...his parting words are he can't remember when he last had so much fun in one evening. I ask Mr DDL when he last took a day off work...he can't remember, it's unheard of! So I suggest he takes a day off next week and we'll go and have some fun! He's game.
Date 2
Mr DDL meets me on the platform in London...he is suited and booted and looks the consummate professional and gentleman. We walk to his car and head back to his penthouse as he wants to change and I get the impression he wants to show me his gaff! He has a great place...overlooking the Thames...a massive balcony and all the gadgets and features you would expect a high flying professional living in London to have, including the art darling!!! We go for a few drinks and then head to the theatre. Billy Elliott is outstanding. Mr DDL gets very emotional at one point during the show, which I find quite endearing. We come out on a high, both totally exhilarated and excited by what we've seen and shared. It's off to the Mandarin Oriental for bellinis and banter. Mr DDL pipes up mid conversation that he doesn't think he would be able to keep hold of me...that I would always be looking for the next best thing. I find this mildly offensive and tell him so. He apologises. We get back on track. Next stop Stringfellows...Mr DDL is like a schoolboy in the candyshop! I sit back and watch him spend and spend and spend a little bit more. These girls are like piranhas around Mr DDL they can smell those fifty pound notes! I encourage him to go for a few private dances and he's led away by various scantily clad women like a puppy to the slaughter!!! It's fascinating this place, groups of men, professionals mesmerised by naked flesh, poles, low lighting and gyrating girls, seductive music pounding through the sound system. But I can't help thinking do they not see the emptiness in these girls eyes...the pound signs on their minds and the conveyor belt mentality? I see a very old man who is clearly intoxicated being held up by at least 3 topless dancers and led into the VIP area. His head and wallet are going to hurt in the morning!!! Mr DDL returns, twinkle in his eye. As we head out of the club Mr DDL tells me I am the best fun to go out on the town with and he thinks he could fall in love with me! What he tells me next pulls the rug out from under me feet. He tells me he is leaving for Hong Kong a week on Friday and would I consider going with him! He is very drunk. I am quite surprised that Mr DDL didn't think to tell me about his relocation plans sooner. He tells me he thought I would never have met him if he had. We agree to keep in touch and I wish him well for his Hong Kong adventure. He plans to be there for at least 2 years and anytime I fancy a long haul trip I am most welcome! Still searching...
45 years old; divorced; Very successful high profile London based lawyer; good looking (in a David Duchovny sort of way!); intelligent; wealthy and generous; witty and cheeky; eligible bachelor.
The First Date
We arrange to meet mid-afternoon at a country retreat for drinks and Mr Divorced Divorce Lawyer suggests if we are still speaking to each other then dinner could follow! I arrive to find Mr DDL sat in the garden reading a historical book and sinking a pint. He had text me ahead of our meeting to say he would very casually dressed. He is wearing a polo shirt and cargo shorts. He seems quite serious and guarded to start with, asks me alot of questions. Then it's my turn...but first Mr DDL disappears and returns with a bottle Veuve Cliquot and strawberries! I discover Mr DDL was married to a lawyer in his firm. He had a one night stand with a legal trainee and his ex wife went off with a barrister! He is very high profile, having recently represented an ex wife of a very well known celebrity chef! He is articulate and sharp and we seem to be getting on well. The more he drinks (which is pretty substantial) the funnier and cheekier he becomes. He is a contradiction. On first appearances, seems a typical public school boy, boarding school, stiff upper lip, up tight and emotionally retarded. However, there is a rebel bursting to get out of Mr DDL. And I am here to facilitate it!!! We go for dinner and have a hoot! Mr DDL does a hilarious impression of Peter Sellers Inspector Clouseau "Does Your Dawg Bite" we are in stitches and crying with laughter!!! We retire to the terrace for night-caps...and end up paddling in the stream and having a water fight...Mr DDL seems elated and free from the conformity of his professional life...his parting words are he can't remember when he last had so much fun in one evening. I ask Mr DDL when he last took a day off work...he can't remember, it's unheard of! So I suggest he takes a day off next week and we'll go and have some fun! He's game.
Date 2
Mr DDL meets me on the platform in London...he is suited and booted and looks the consummate professional and gentleman. We walk to his car and head back to his penthouse as he wants to change and I get the impression he wants to show me his gaff! He has a great place...overlooking the Thames...a massive balcony and all the gadgets and features you would expect a high flying professional living in London to have, including the art darling!!! We go for a few drinks and then head to the theatre. Billy Elliott is outstanding. Mr DDL gets very emotional at one point during the show, which I find quite endearing. We come out on a high, both totally exhilarated and excited by what we've seen and shared. It's off to the Mandarin Oriental for bellinis and banter. Mr DDL pipes up mid conversation that he doesn't think he would be able to keep hold of me...that I would always be looking for the next best thing. I find this mildly offensive and tell him so. He apologises. We get back on track. Next stop Stringfellows...Mr DDL is like a schoolboy in the candyshop! I sit back and watch him spend and spend and spend a little bit more. These girls are like piranhas around Mr DDL they can smell those fifty pound notes! I encourage him to go for a few private dances and he's led away by various scantily clad women like a puppy to the slaughter!!! It's fascinating this place, groups of men, professionals mesmerised by naked flesh, poles, low lighting and gyrating girls, seductive music pounding through the sound system. But I can't help thinking do they not see the emptiness in these girls eyes...the pound signs on their minds and the conveyor belt mentality? I see a very old man who is clearly intoxicated being held up by at least 3 topless dancers and led into the VIP area. His head and wallet are going to hurt in the morning!!! Mr DDL returns, twinkle in his eye. As we head out of the club Mr DDL tells me I am the best fun to go out on the town with and he thinks he could fall in love with me! What he tells me next pulls the rug out from under me feet. He tells me he is leaving for Hong Kong a week on Friday and would I consider going with him! He is very drunk. I am quite surprised that Mr DDL didn't think to tell me about his relocation plans sooner. He tells me he thought I would never have met him if he had. We agree to keep in touch and I wish him well for his Hong Kong adventure. He plans to be there for at least 2 years and anytime I fancy a long haul trip I am most welcome! Still searching...
Mr Fixer
Mr Fixer
43 years old; man about town; never married; owns a fashion label and is mid launch on an internet dating phenomanen; St Tropez loving; fast car driving; mover and shaker.
Mr Fixer's Profile
Ok I don't know where to start I own my own fashion label which is quite exciting and get to travel all over the world. But with no one to share this with it can be quite boring. I enjoy going out to restaurants around town and also are quite happy to stay in and go for a walk in the park. I love dogs and would love to have one one day, I spend my summer hoildays in St Tropez where I have been going for the last 15 years, I socialize around Chelsea/Knightsbridge where I used to live for a few years. So if you're looking for a smart well dressed man about town and you enjoy being treated like a princess email me. I am looking for someone that it sensitive passionate, attractive, single, romantic.
The Date
Afternoon coffee in South Kensington; I arrive to meet Mr Fixer, who is impeccably dressed complete with his Super Yachts magazine; after much probing and razor sharp questioning Mr Fixer admits his fashion label is actually 1000 factory shirts from Milan than he cannot flog in London for love nor money and he hasn't made a penny from the venture! What's more it materialises that Mr Fixer aka the Talented Mr Ripley; has changed his name 3 times due to financial difficulties and operated under several aliases. EXIT STAGE LEFT! Taxi!!!!!
43 years old; man about town; never married; owns a fashion label and is mid launch on an internet dating phenomanen; St Tropez loving; fast car driving; mover and shaker.
Mr Fixer's Profile
Ok I don't know where to start I own my own fashion label which is quite exciting and get to travel all over the world. But with no one to share this with it can be quite boring. I enjoy going out to restaurants around town and also are quite happy to stay in and go for a walk in the park. I love dogs and would love to have one one day, I spend my summer hoildays in St Tropez where I have been going for the last 15 years, I socialize around Chelsea/Knightsbridge where I used to live for a few years. So if you're looking for a smart well dressed man about town and you enjoy being treated like a princess email me. I am looking for someone that it sensitive passionate, attractive, single, romantic.
The Date
Afternoon coffee in South Kensington; I arrive to meet Mr Fixer, who is impeccably dressed complete with his Super Yachts magazine; after much probing and razor sharp questioning Mr Fixer admits his fashion label is actually 1000 factory shirts from Milan than he cannot flog in London for love nor money and he hasn't made a penny from the venture! What's more it materialises that Mr Fixer aka the Talented Mr Ripley; has changed his name 3 times due to financial difficulties and operated under several aliases. EXIT STAGE LEFT! Taxi!!!!!
Meet Mr Flash
Mr Flash
51 years old; divorced twice; 1 grown up daughter; successful executive; tortured soul; no contact with his Jewish family over an inheritance argument; cautious and considered; generous; good looking...what's the catch I thought...while I was also thinking I've struck GOLD! This is the guy I've searched for all my life...
Emails
I hotlisted Mr Flash, his photos were very dapper, one image was of him in a fedora and tweed at the races, another him sat in a restaurant with a smart suit and sipping an oversize glass of red wine and another of him in his work attire looking in charge. Mr Flash responded by saying he was flattered by my approach and asked why I was looking for an older man? This was my response:-
"Cast your mind back to the man you were in your twenties and thirties and the man you are today and there is your answer!" I wrote OMS (Older Man Syndrome) in the email subject. And added why do you have YWM (Younger Women Syndrome!)? He emailed back saying what a brilliant response and that he found younger women to be more passionate about life than his older counterparts. Bring it on!
The Date
Drinks and dinner at a country hotel, instant spark and attraction. Richard Gere meets Viviene! Mr Flash arrived looking smart and casual in designer jeans, a shirt and a trendy jacket. He has amazing eyes and is better looking than his photos. Conversation flowed; common interests and outlooks. He asks me why I am single and is surprised why I am so. He also thinks intellectually I am older than my years. We share a platter of food and the chitter, chatter is engaging and fun. I notice Mr Flash is hugging a cushion as we recline and relax on the luxurious and oversize sofa.
We talk about psychology and life and philosophy and we click!
Date 2
Theatre trip to Chicago; it's raining; very romantic; fun; chemistry; perfect Gent; we scoop into a bar pre-show for a drink. Mr Flash is suited and booted and looks very handsome. Luckily, I have worn a dress and jacket and the bar maid comments "Great dress!" I thank her and Mr Flash right on cue looks at me and says "'yeah, it is a great dress"" I feel on fire. Mr Flash asks me what I am looking for from this internet dating search. I tell him...the Fairytale. What is that he asks me? I tell him I'll know it when it arrives...it's something so special that cannot be defined but ticks every box. Chicago is sassy, sexy and entertaining...all those fishnets and killer heels. There is a chemistry between me and Mr Flash. He is caressing my hand and i catch a glimpse of his profile in the theatre light and he has something. We leave the theatre and it's still raining, Mr Flash suggests a post theatre candlelit supper at Jamie's Italian restaurant, great food, conversation and connection!
Date 3
Mr Flash offers to arrange a 5 star hotel in the West End for yours truly; all expenses paid and NO he's not looking to stay there as well! I reinact the scene from Pretty Woman in my cottage when Julia Roberts is in the bath and going mad that Edward wants her to stay the week for 3000 dollars! Except picture this I clench my fists and do a running on the spot kind of excited, delighted and demented manoeuvre - it's not good look, but it felt great at the time!!! The Garden suite is most luxurious; Mr Flash picks me up at mid afternoon, we stroll through Covent Garden in my ridiculous choice of Kurt Geiger 3 and 1/2 inch heels on cobbled streets; I am totally over dressed in a black dress and cream coat how to draw attention to oneself in daylight; we peruse paintings in several glorious galleries; I am Pretty Woman the voice in my head keeps saying over and over....do everything within my power not to say "Can I call you Eddie" Clearly as that is not his name, as well as "If I forget to tell you later, I had a really good time tonight"!!! Take a pew al fresco with chilled Sancerre and a live opera singer, it's perfect; Les Miserables is utterly moving and breath taking; then it's off to Rules Restaurant for a decadent fine dining experience; not forgetting the rickshaw ride back to my hotel and the cigar to complete the eve. Mr Flash tells me there's something unique about me...that I get it! Get life...get the things to appreciate and the outlook to have.
Date 4
Day out at Brands Hatch Motor Racing; Mr Flash is cool and collected, he wears his sunglasses inside the hospitality restaurant; I notice people clocking us...we look good together. He drinks alot of expresso; mind you I drink alot of wine!!! On to a Surrey village, for a mooch around the antique shops..there's sexual tension between us...I like him...we go to Waitrose. Mr Flash tells me it feels comfortable being in the supermarket with me...mmm...he selects lobster and monkfish and fine wine...gosh I like his style. We spend the eve at his place, he cooks, very well and I sit on the worktop while he preps the food, we talk, music on, it's romantic and sexy and there's an ease about us. We play the question game...it's fun! Then Mr Flash in one manoeuvre drops the starter ingredients all over the floor- hilarious-we are crying with laughter....
Date 5
An afternoon playing pool at a 5 star spa resort; luncheon; banter; drinks; cigars; walks; talks; Mr Flash tells me I need an old fashioned Gent to show me the world and real life....I DO!!!
51 years old; divorced twice; 1 grown up daughter; successful executive; tortured soul; no contact with his Jewish family over an inheritance argument; cautious and considered; generous; good looking...what's the catch I thought...while I was also thinking I've struck GOLD! This is the guy I've searched for all my life...
Emails
I hotlisted Mr Flash, his photos were very dapper, one image was of him in a fedora and tweed at the races, another him sat in a restaurant with a smart suit and sipping an oversize glass of red wine and another of him in his work attire looking in charge. Mr Flash responded by saying he was flattered by my approach and asked why I was looking for an older man? This was my response:-
"Cast your mind back to the man you were in your twenties and thirties and the man you are today and there is your answer!" I wrote OMS (Older Man Syndrome) in the email subject. And added why do you have YWM (Younger Women Syndrome!)? He emailed back saying what a brilliant response and that he found younger women to be more passionate about life than his older counterparts. Bring it on!
The Date
Drinks and dinner at a country hotel, instant spark and attraction. Richard Gere meets Viviene! Mr Flash arrived looking smart and casual in designer jeans, a shirt and a trendy jacket. He has amazing eyes and is better looking than his photos. Conversation flowed; common interests and outlooks. He asks me why I am single and is surprised why I am so. He also thinks intellectually I am older than my years. We share a platter of food and the chitter, chatter is engaging and fun. I notice Mr Flash is hugging a cushion as we recline and relax on the luxurious and oversize sofa.
We talk about psychology and life and philosophy and we click!
Date 2
Theatre trip to Chicago; it's raining; very romantic; fun; chemistry; perfect Gent; we scoop into a bar pre-show for a drink. Mr Flash is suited and booted and looks very handsome. Luckily, I have worn a dress and jacket and the bar maid comments "Great dress!" I thank her and Mr Flash right on cue looks at me and says "'yeah, it is a great dress"" I feel on fire. Mr Flash asks me what I am looking for from this internet dating search. I tell him...the Fairytale. What is that he asks me? I tell him I'll know it when it arrives...it's something so special that cannot be defined but ticks every box. Chicago is sassy, sexy and entertaining...all those fishnets and killer heels. There is a chemistry between me and Mr Flash. He is caressing my hand and i catch a glimpse of his profile in the theatre light and he has something. We leave the theatre and it's still raining, Mr Flash suggests a post theatre candlelit supper at Jamie's Italian restaurant, great food, conversation and connection!
Date 3
Mr Flash offers to arrange a 5 star hotel in the West End for yours truly; all expenses paid and NO he's not looking to stay there as well! I reinact the scene from Pretty Woman in my cottage when Julia Roberts is in the bath and going mad that Edward wants her to stay the week for 3000 dollars! Except picture this I clench my fists and do a running on the spot kind of excited, delighted and demented manoeuvre - it's not good look, but it felt great at the time!!! The Garden suite is most luxurious; Mr Flash picks me up at mid afternoon, we stroll through Covent Garden in my ridiculous choice of Kurt Geiger 3 and 1/2 inch heels on cobbled streets; I am totally over dressed in a black dress and cream coat how to draw attention to oneself in daylight; we peruse paintings in several glorious galleries; I am Pretty Woman the voice in my head keeps saying over and over....do everything within my power not to say "Can I call you Eddie" Clearly as that is not his name, as well as "If I forget to tell you later, I had a really good time tonight"!!! Take a pew al fresco with chilled Sancerre and a live opera singer, it's perfect; Les Miserables is utterly moving and breath taking; then it's off to Rules Restaurant for a decadent fine dining experience; not forgetting the rickshaw ride back to my hotel and the cigar to complete the eve. Mr Flash tells me there's something unique about me...that I get it! Get life...get the things to appreciate and the outlook to have.
Date 4
Day out at Brands Hatch Motor Racing; Mr Flash is cool and collected, he wears his sunglasses inside the hospitality restaurant; I notice people clocking us...we look good together. He drinks alot of expresso; mind you I drink alot of wine!!! On to a Surrey village, for a mooch around the antique shops..there's sexual tension between us...I like him...we go to Waitrose. Mr Flash tells me it feels comfortable being in the supermarket with me...mmm...he selects lobster and monkfish and fine wine...gosh I like his style. We spend the eve at his place, he cooks, very well and I sit on the worktop while he preps the food, we talk, music on, it's romantic and sexy and there's an ease about us. We play the question game...it's fun! Then Mr Flash in one manoeuvre drops the starter ingredients all over the floor- hilarious-we are crying with laughter....
Date 5
An afternoon playing pool at a 5 star spa resort; luncheon; banter; drinks; cigars; walks; talks; Mr Flash tells me I need an old fashioned Gent to show me the world and real life....I DO!!!
Introducing Mr Meet the Parents!
Mr Meet the Parents
38 years old; single; long relationship which ended after his infidelity; riddled with guilt; small town mentality; estate agent; small man syndrome; 5ft 8; likes smoking; drinking; his local town; moto GP; Top Gear repeats; tea on the table when I get home from work kinda chap!
The Date
Saturday eve drinks in a country pub...we walked in and to his surprise his father was at the bar. Clearly I assumed this was a joke...oh no it isn't and what's more his father exclaimed "You didn't tell me what a beauty she was, how very nice to meet you my dear" and it gets better his mother was sat through in the restaurant and we were off to meet her too!!!! Red faced and mildly panicked, I got through the small talk. It felt strange though sat with Mr Meet the Parents, who I had known all of 5 minutes and his parents, talking about motorsport, the weather and both our backgrounds. I was just starting to feel more at ease, the units of alcohol were kicking in. Until his mother summoned me to the ladies to powder our noses. She asked me if I'd like children and how she hoped dearly we worked out. What she didn't emphasize was that he still wore cuban heels and thought Turkey was the most glamorous place on this earth. Not to mention the fact that when Mr Meet the Parents had too much to drink he got a little bit angry about his 5feet and 8inches status and liked to kick plant pots or throw my handbag, complete with its contents around. See Ya! Still searching...
38 years old; single; long relationship which ended after his infidelity; riddled with guilt; small town mentality; estate agent; small man syndrome; 5ft 8; likes smoking; drinking; his local town; moto GP; Top Gear repeats; tea on the table when I get home from work kinda chap!
The Date
Saturday eve drinks in a country pub...we walked in and to his surprise his father was at the bar. Clearly I assumed this was a joke...oh no it isn't and what's more his father exclaimed "You didn't tell me what a beauty she was, how very nice to meet you my dear" and it gets better his mother was sat through in the restaurant and we were off to meet her too!!!! Red faced and mildly panicked, I got through the small talk. It felt strange though sat with Mr Meet the Parents, who I had known all of 5 minutes and his parents, talking about motorsport, the weather and both our backgrounds. I was just starting to feel more at ease, the units of alcohol were kicking in. Until his mother summoned me to the ladies to powder our noses. She asked me if I'd like children and how she hoped dearly we worked out. What she didn't emphasize was that he still wore cuban heels and thought Turkey was the most glamorous place on this earth. Not to mention the fact that when Mr Meet the Parents had too much to drink he got a little bit angry about his 5feet and 8inches status and liked to kick plant pots or throw my handbag, complete with its contents around. See Ya! Still searching...
Introducing Mr Academic
Mr Academic
34 years old; single; masters/PhD in Particle Physics no less! A Scientist; house sharing; enjoys outdoor activities; great email banter pre-date.
The Date
We met at a hotel bar for early eve drinks mid-week. Mr Academic arrived on his bicycle, complete with helmet and chain! Email banter had involved much talk of spoons...his profile specifically said he was looking for a girl without a chronic phobia of spoons (you can't make this stuff up even if one tried!) So I took a blue daisy tea spoon to break the ice! I had nick named Mr Academic, "the Shoveller" in our many emails, based around this obsession he had with spoons from the outset. Mr Academic hates his day job with a passion. He feels such disdain towards his boss that he is on the brink I would summise of committing sub-ordinate manslaughter. I ask him why he doesn't just jack it in and follow his dream. But he is trying to pay off his debts accrued from years of studying and in the academia arena. Conversation turned towards his theory that the female menopause is the main contributor to the onset of this recession. He lost me after menopause and I focused heavily on my mojitos! Polar opposites trapped at a table on different planets....he left on his UFO and I caught a taxi home. An internet date lesson learnt that no matter how much email banter and humour you have this does not guarantee face to face chemistry or connection or even mild communication or conversation! Still searching...knowing now to avoid any men with a pre-occupation of utensils!
34 years old; single; masters/PhD in Particle Physics no less! A Scientist; house sharing; enjoys outdoor activities; great email banter pre-date.
The Date
We met at a hotel bar for early eve drinks mid-week. Mr Academic arrived on his bicycle, complete with helmet and chain! Email banter had involved much talk of spoons...his profile specifically said he was looking for a girl without a chronic phobia of spoons (you can't make this stuff up even if one tried!) So I took a blue daisy tea spoon to break the ice! I had nick named Mr Academic, "the Shoveller" in our many emails, based around this obsession he had with spoons from the outset. Mr Academic hates his day job with a passion. He feels such disdain towards his boss that he is on the brink I would summise of committing sub-ordinate manslaughter. I ask him why he doesn't just jack it in and follow his dream. But he is trying to pay off his debts accrued from years of studying and in the academia arena. Conversation turned towards his theory that the female menopause is the main contributor to the onset of this recession. He lost me after menopause and I focused heavily on my mojitos! Polar opposites trapped at a table on different planets....he left on his UFO and I caught a taxi home. An internet date lesson learnt that no matter how much email banter and humour you have this does not guarantee face to face chemistry or connection or even mild communication or conversation! Still searching...knowing now to avoid any men with a pre-occupation of utensils!
Introducing Mr Eccentric
Mr Eccentric
28 years old; single; quirky; cultured; musical; creative; spontaneous; emotional baggage from boarding school bullying and issues with his parents (a pop star father and an American hippy mother); slightly manic; black moods!
The Date
Mr Eccentric contacted me informing me that he was terribly excited upon reading my profile and that he felt sure we would hit it off with so much in common. We exchanged a few emails and I took the plunge in a late night, mildly intoxicated (me - no idea about him) introductory conversation. The end result....45 minutes of a vague but up beat chit chat and a date in the diary. Mid week lunch at a gastro-pub just me, him and his Jack Russell! I arrived to find an aristocratic looking gent awaiting me. Blue velvet smoking jacket, mustard jodphur style trousers and an eclectic mix of colour texture and a mad black beard that was not present on the profile pictures pre-date! He's a young dashing man trapped in a pensioner's wardrobe of pipe and slippers! Mr Eccentric runs a Gourmet Catering business...he is the perfect host, full of charm and charisma and a liking for the older lady he tells me...enter Mrs Robinson! We hit it off, he is engaging and witty and his dog adores me...he's trained the JR well to pull on my heart strings...who had taken up prime position in my lap! We spend the afternoon sharing funny stories, much laughter and frivolity. A complex character probably looking for a motherly figure to make him feel loved and secure. Lunch turns into a drive in the countryside, complete with JR attached to my lap like a heated cushion. We decide to head back to his rented farmhouse, which is in the middle of nowhere and invite his business partner and girlfriend over for cheese fondue and champagne! Now bearing in mind we have been drinking for the best part of the afternoon and it's now early evening, ours is a similar scene to Withnail and I (that's me and him...giggling in a squiffy stupor at the hilarities of our first date) so when his friends arrive sober I can only imagine the cringe worthy conversations and quips coming from our side of the table, as we repeat ourselves, slur about fate, our date and why wait...for love is the answer! Mr Eccentric then decides to serenade me at the table half way through cheese fondue fondling croning out "Do Wah Diddy there she was just a walkin' down the street...singin Do Wah Diddy" remember father was in a band in the 70s! As I fall out of the ricketty farmhouse door and into a taxi, in a haze of melted cheese and champers, I feel Mr Eccentric and dawg are an ecletic mix of madness, music and misunderstandings...still searching!!!
28 years old; single; quirky; cultured; musical; creative; spontaneous; emotional baggage from boarding school bullying and issues with his parents (a pop star father and an American hippy mother); slightly manic; black moods!
The Date
Mr Eccentric contacted me informing me that he was terribly excited upon reading my profile and that he felt sure we would hit it off with so much in common. We exchanged a few emails and I took the plunge in a late night, mildly intoxicated (me - no idea about him) introductory conversation. The end result....45 minutes of a vague but up beat chit chat and a date in the diary. Mid week lunch at a gastro-pub just me, him and his Jack Russell! I arrived to find an aristocratic looking gent awaiting me. Blue velvet smoking jacket, mustard jodphur style trousers and an eclectic mix of colour texture and a mad black beard that was not present on the profile pictures pre-date! He's a young dashing man trapped in a pensioner's wardrobe of pipe and slippers! Mr Eccentric runs a Gourmet Catering business...he is the perfect host, full of charm and charisma and a liking for the older lady he tells me...enter Mrs Robinson! We hit it off, he is engaging and witty and his dog adores me...he's trained the JR well to pull on my heart strings...who had taken up prime position in my lap! We spend the afternoon sharing funny stories, much laughter and frivolity. A complex character probably looking for a motherly figure to make him feel loved and secure. Lunch turns into a drive in the countryside, complete with JR attached to my lap like a heated cushion. We decide to head back to his rented farmhouse, which is in the middle of nowhere and invite his business partner and girlfriend over for cheese fondue and champagne! Now bearing in mind we have been drinking for the best part of the afternoon and it's now early evening, ours is a similar scene to Withnail and I (that's me and him...giggling in a squiffy stupor at the hilarities of our first date) so when his friends arrive sober I can only imagine the cringe worthy conversations and quips coming from our side of the table, as we repeat ourselves, slur about fate, our date and why wait...for love is the answer! Mr Eccentric then decides to serenade me at the table half way through cheese fondue fondling croning out "Do Wah Diddy there she was just a walkin' down the street...singin Do Wah Diddy" remember father was in a band in the 70s! As I fall out of the ricketty farmhouse door and into a taxi, in a haze of melted cheese and champers, I feel Mr Eccentric and dawg are an ecletic mix of madness, music and misunderstandings...still searching!!!
Introducing Mr Sensible
Mr Sensible
44 yrs old; Divorced; 2 children; Wife went off with a neighbour; Tall and handsome; Successful MD; Sensitive and Sensible; Genuine and Kind.
The Date
Sunday roast in a country pub. Pork. Talk. Wine. Fine.
This being my first internet date, I was surprisingly a bag of nerves. It's one thing writing a great profile and uploading some flattering photos onto the world wide web, it's quite another thing rocking up to what is essentially a blind date with a stranger off the internet. Stigma started to sink in. Am I desperate? Is this a crazy idea? The tight rope walk from profile to date is a wobbly one but even whilst winks, favourites and emails are pinging back and forth the safety net is proudly in place as you peer down from the world wide web that is the wire. However, once out from behind the luxury of the laptop screen and the sanctuary of cyber dating space, there is no safety net and the chances of serious injury from falling are magnified. As the window of opportunity to cancel this date closed by the minute my levels of self doubt and self delusion escalated. This manifested itself in a clothing tornado! As I left, my bedroom resembled that of an angry hormonal teenager, and my clothes crisis hit January Sales on Oxford Street levels, you know the score, creased clothes strewn all over the floors, ripped garments and hangers causing health and safety hazards, and a blanket of inside out, back to front outfits. Why am I so unsure of what to wear. Well, do knee boots and skinny jeans make me look like I'm up for it? It's the Sabbath day afterall, should I don a twin set and pearls? Is a polo neck a sign of being neurotic or frigid? Is it true cleavage and pins out at the same time is tarty? How do you pitch it just right in the fashion stakes as first impressions really do count. Too smart....trying too hard? Too casual...bland, boring or lacking effort. Too much flesh....slapper? Covered up...prude? High street? Designer? Boho? Conservative? Hippy chick? Professional? Then after battling with various colourful ensembles, and as I caught a glimpse of my beetroot red face, sweating in the mirror whilst battling with the elbow trapped in the wrong sleeve war...I thought sod it got to be myself so knee boots and skinny jeans complete with black polo neck and blazer it was. As I walked into the country pub, I wondered what is the internet dating etiquette for greeting. I spot Mr Sensible sat coolly at our table, reading the Independent. He is surprisingly younger and better looking than his profile photos. He stands up to greet me (and tall!) with a kiss and a warm smile. I, by this point have a heart beat suited to a raver and I know I am blushing. Pleasantries over, I make my excuses and rush to the loo. Mr Sensible asks me if I would like a wine....and as I turn on my knee high heels I shout yes please, he says what sort and before I can stop myself I have screeched "LARGE!" he smiles and says red or white? White I murmur turning now a shade of deep purple. Once inside the ladies, I have words with myself in the mirror. Calm down!!! Deep breaths! Back at the table, we make small talk and Mr Sensible proposes a toast, as I raise my "LARGE" glass of vino, my hand is shaking so badly, I cannot navigate sloshing glass to my mouth and have to tell him that I am nervous. Mr Sensible reassuringly grabs my knee and tells me to relax. Gosh is he thinking I'm a anxious wreck? Do i look like I've got the DT's? We talk about his marriage, his girls, I make an effort to ask about his children and show an interest, until I make the faux-pas that comes from getting cocky on 1st ever internet date by referring to Emma and he is quick to correct me that his daughter is called Emily. SHIT! We talk some more about his work...his dating experiences so far. The roast pork arrives...I drop my knife..ice breaker or just plain imbecile! I couldn't begin to tell you how the food was or what we talked about through the meal as I felt like a fish out of water and just wanted to remember his daughter is called Emily! We left the pub and Mr Sensible suggested a mooch around the shops, he made a point of walking on the outside of the pavement, and took my hand as we crossed the road, which was very gentlemanly. We said our goodbyes and he suggested meeting up again. Phew, no longer an internet date virgin and relieved to be heading home....as I have one hell of a bedroom to tidy up! Searching starts!!!
44 yrs old; Divorced; 2 children; Wife went off with a neighbour; Tall and handsome; Successful MD; Sensitive and Sensible; Genuine and Kind.
The Date
Sunday roast in a country pub. Pork. Talk. Wine. Fine.
This being my first internet date, I was surprisingly a bag of nerves. It's one thing writing a great profile and uploading some flattering photos onto the world wide web, it's quite another thing rocking up to what is essentially a blind date with a stranger off the internet. Stigma started to sink in. Am I desperate? Is this a crazy idea? The tight rope walk from profile to date is a wobbly one but even whilst winks, favourites and emails are pinging back and forth the safety net is proudly in place as you peer down from the world wide web that is the wire. However, once out from behind the luxury of the laptop screen and the sanctuary of cyber dating space, there is no safety net and the chances of serious injury from falling are magnified. As the window of opportunity to cancel this date closed by the minute my levels of self doubt and self delusion escalated. This manifested itself in a clothing tornado! As I left, my bedroom resembled that of an angry hormonal teenager, and my clothes crisis hit January Sales on Oxford Street levels, you know the score, creased clothes strewn all over the floors, ripped garments and hangers causing health and safety hazards, and a blanket of inside out, back to front outfits. Why am I so unsure of what to wear. Well, do knee boots and skinny jeans make me look like I'm up for it? It's the Sabbath day afterall, should I don a twin set and pearls? Is a polo neck a sign of being neurotic or frigid? Is it true cleavage and pins out at the same time is tarty? How do you pitch it just right in the fashion stakes as first impressions really do count. Too smart....trying too hard? Too casual...bland, boring or lacking effort. Too much flesh....slapper? Covered up...prude? High street? Designer? Boho? Conservative? Hippy chick? Professional? Then after battling with various colourful ensembles, and as I caught a glimpse of my beetroot red face, sweating in the mirror whilst battling with the elbow trapped in the wrong sleeve war...I thought sod it got to be myself so knee boots and skinny jeans complete with black polo neck and blazer it was. As I walked into the country pub, I wondered what is the internet dating etiquette for greeting. I spot Mr Sensible sat coolly at our table, reading the Independent. He is surprisingly younger and better looking than his profile photos. He stands up to greet me (and tall!) with a kiss and a warm smile. I, by this point have a heart beat suited to a raver and I know I am blushing. Pleasantries over, I make my excuses and rush to the loo. Mr Sensible asks me if I would like a wine....and as I turn on my knee high heels I shout yes please, he says what sort and before I can stop myself I have screeched "LARGE!" he smiles and says red or white? White I murmur turning now a shade of deep purple. Once inside the ladies, I have words with myself in the mirror. Calm down!!! Deep breaths! Back at the table, we make small talk and Mr Sensible proposes a toast, as I raise my "LARGE" glass of vino, my hand is shaking so badly, I cannot navigate sloshing glass to my mouth and have to tell him that I am nervous. Mr Sensible reassuringly grabs my knee and tells me to relax. Gosh is he thinking I'm a anxious wreck? Do i look like I've got the DT's? We talk about his marriage, his girls, I make an effort to ask about his children and show an interest, until I make the faux-pas that comes from getting cocky on 1st ever internet date by referring to Emma and he is quick to correct me that his daughter is called Emily. SHIT! We talk some more about his work...his dating experiences so far. The roast pork arrives...I drop my knife..ice breaker or just plain imbecile! I couldn't begin to tell you how the food was or what we talked about through the meal as I felt like a fish out of water and just wanted to remember his daughter is called Emily! We left the pub and Mr Sensible suggested a mooch around the shops, he made a point of walking on the outside of the pavement, and took my hand as we crossed the road, which was very gentlemanly. We said our goodbyes and he suggested meeting up again. Phew, no longer an internet date virgin and relieved to be heading home....as I have one hell of a bedroom to tidy up! Searching starts!!!
Alive and Kicking
Ultimate exposure. Profile and photos uploaded and I am alive and kicking in the internet dating arena. Log on...log off...wait...anticipation...excitement...uncertainty...curiosity...what next...how will I be perceived...who's looking at me, is anyone? If so, what are they thinking. Actually what the hell am I thinking putting my face and facts and figure on the world wide web for all to see. Oh yes, I forgot I'm not thinking...I'm experimenting....I'm searching...
And then a barrage of communications begins!
Winks
Hotlists
Favourites
Smiley faces
Pokes
Jokes
Quirks
Smirks
Hotlists
Favourites
Smiley faces
Pokes
Jokes
Quirks
Smirks
"One thing about internet dating, you're guaranteed to 'click' with whomever you meet!" Anon
10 Top Internet Dating Websites and Beyond...
WWW.
PERFECTMATCH
YAHOOPERSONALS
SINGLESNET
DATE
LOOPYLOVE
FRIENDS REUNITED DATING
WEALTHY MEN
MINGLES
MILLIONAIREMATE
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CHEMISTRY
GOLDDIGGER
SUGARDADDIE
MEETINGMILLIONAIRES
EHARMONY
LAVALIFE
PLENTYOFFISH
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PERFECTMATCH
YAHOOPERSONALS
SINGLESNET
DATE
LOOPYLOVE
FRIENDS REUNITED DATING
WEALTHY MEN
MINGLES
MILLIONAIREMATE
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CHEMISTRY
GOLDDIGGER
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1 Profile - Catch of the Day Seeks Fisherman!
Swim up stream gentlemen. And there you will find the only catch you've been looking for hook, line and sinker love and laughter. For this fishy is intelligent, sharp and witty. Sultry, sensual and chic. She enjoys wellies and walkies as well as high heels and fast wheels! Country pubs and sophisticated restaurants. Roaring fires and roaring with laughter. Kissing in the rain and relaxing in the sun. She loves polo, horse racing and Formula One. She's elegant and eloquent, articulate and adventurous. Racy and romantic as well as vibrant and vivacious. A culture vulture, passionate about theatre, art and dancing. My glass is neither half full nor half empty. It's brimming with positivity, curiosity and a lust for life and the people and paths we cross along the way. I'll wait for you on the platform with a BLUE flower in my hair. PS You will be a distinguished, dynamic, discerning Gent. With a sharp mind and a warm heart. Considered and caring. Dark horse and daring! Successful and stable. Willing and able! And remember a woman without a man, is like a FISH without a bicycle. Who's peddling up stream? You or Me?
"It's better to be looked over than overlooked" Mae West
"It's better to be looked over than overlooked" Mae West
Welcome on Board!
One woman's search for a stranger, a soul mate, a knight in shining armour we all dream for as little girls...the Fairytale! Does it really exist? Can love and laughter really be found on the world wide web?
1 Profile
10 Top Internet Dating Websites
1000's of Hotlists, Favourites, Pokes and Jokes, Emails and Tales! Winks and High Jinks!
Pull up a chair and let me introduce you to the Old, the Young, the Mental and the Fun! Some Single, some Strange, certainly Lonely, and the odd one Deranged! The Dynamic and discerning, desperate and yearning, some separated, many divorced and even debauched! The Chancers, Dreamers, Damaged, and Schemers! The Nice, the Needy, the Greedy and the Genuine!
100 dates
1 diary
“Men are like a deck of cards. You'll find the occasional king, but most are jacks.” Laura Swenson
One woman's search for a stranger, a soul mate, a knight in shining armour we all dream for as little girls...the Fairytale! Does it really exist? Can love and laughter really be found on the world wide web?
1 Profile
10 Top Internet Dating Websites
1000's of Hotlists, Favourites, Pokes and Jokes, Emails and Tales! Winks and High Jinks!
Pull up a chair and let me introduce you to the Old, the Young, the Mental and the Fun! Some Single, some Strange, certainly Lonely, and the odd one Deranged! The Dynamic and discerning, desperate and yearning, some separated, many divorced and even debauched! The Chancers, Dreamers, Damaged, and Schemers! The Nice, the Needy, the Greedy and the Genuine!
100 dates
1 diary
“Men are like a deck of cards. You'll find the occasional king, but most are jacks.” Laura Swenson
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